- Snowba|| ParaDise -

i'm moving, and you're invited to come along. (:

2009-05-16T07:35:00.000-07:00

hello friends, i'm shifting my blog to this little obscure corner of the vast internet.
yes, finally. (:

- http://dearxraymachine.wordpress.com
move with me, if you don't absolutely detest my writings and rambles :D

happy mothers' day!

2009-05-10T09:45:00.000-07:00

I owe so many people updates *gulp*

Here's a video, go watch all related ones and when you're back, there'll be updates! :D

WHOOSH!

I ower

rah! :D

2009-05-07T17:06:00.000-07:00

I know some of you guys are still trapped in land of no grey's, so I shan't spoil it for you..

I CANNOT WAIT FOR THE 100th EPISODE!

MERDER MARRIAGE LIKE YAY :D:D:D:D

but my excitement is bursting at it's seams! highlight above if you REALLY want to know. ;)

- back to KI. ):

'the east is at pasir ris and the west at joo koon.' - gosh I wish it were as simple as that, vibz. ):

-

2009-05-05T09:42:00.000-07:00

sadhu, sadhu, sadhu. I chant these familiar verses at the back of my head as I fall asleep tonight. To new beginnings; returning back to where we started from.

gear up!

2009-05-03T06:17:00.000-07:00

make no comments about the oily faces!

You know, sometimes when machines keep jamming up for the most obscure reasons, they are actually trying to tell you that they need a break, damnit. I got my own little fix up over the long weekend when I went home to Malaysia to see my family and friends. (:

Meeting up with bryan, kwanseng & guoyaw was definitely refreshing for a change haha. We did the most random things, like shopping at Popular for weird animal pencil cases, playing with puppets, running to mamak stores to eat cheese (!) naan. -_- Got a frisbee from bryan though; now we can play, bumblebees! :D I don't know how but these few friends in my life are pretty hard to lose hahah! (Not that I've tried to) It's just, they are friends I can count on lah, even after leaving for 3 years. (: Thats pretty hard to find, you know?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRYAN CHONG HAU FOO :D no wishes for you because Cornell came true. :D

a little maintanence work now and then is always good. gearing up for the second half of the year (:

dish it out like you'd receive it.

2009-04-30T04:19:00.000-07:00

Today was pretty much a bad day, as bad as bad goes. Ah it sucks to smell like disappointment.

outrageous chocolate brownies!

2009-04-25T08:28:00.000-07:00

Hello world! :D Staf and I went on a baking spree today! (a planned one but a spree nonetheless) And we baked the most decadent, moist and chewy brownie slices everrr.

These brownies crackly on the top, and chewy in the inside! And get this, it is INCREDIBLY easy to make! :D Honestly, Staf and I aren't the most professional bakers in the world but the instructions were so simply and direct, there was NO way to get it wrong. :D

how about a close up?
It was aimed to be a cookie actually. But heck, it was so good as brownie slices, we didn't care. :D

First tester was Felix :D and he loved it so much he had like 6-7 slices hee. :D

Tempting yet? :D

Happy de-invest, councilors! :D
PS: Png and Vibz has dibs on these babies! ;)

For avid bakers:
Adapted recipe (Original Recipe from Martha Stewart):

8 ounces semisweet chocolate, roughly chopped
4 tablespoons unsalted butter
1/4 cup all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 large eggs
3/4 cup packed light brown sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
8 ounces semisweet chocolate chunks

Preheat oven to 350°.

Heat chopped chocolate and butter in a microwave-safe bowl. Stir every 20 seconds until almost melted. Set aside.

Whisk together flour, baking powder, and salt. In a separate bowl, beat eggs, brown sugar, and vanilla at high speed with an electric mixer. Mix until light and fluffy. Beat in melted chocolate. Mix in dry ingredients until just combined. Stir in chocolate chunks.

Pour batter into a flat pan. Bake 12 to 15 minutes, or until cookies are shiny and crackly but soft in the center. Cool on baking sheets 10 minutes. Then, transfer to racks to cool completely. Slice according to desired sizes.

Makes about 2 dozen slices.

lethargy.

2009-04-23T08:27:00.000-07:00

And I was born, to tell you I love you. - Stupid song Paul keeps singing and playing, The Call by Secondhand Serenade is now stuck in my head. RAHH.

Feeling lethargic after hours and hours of invest rehearsal everyday; lethargy is watching things and people whiz you by, and hoping that you can catch up when your back refuses to leave the comfort of the sheets.

Frisbee with the councilors tmr(!) and Megahouse after. (: Pictures to come, I hope!

spreading some free cone love.

2009-04-20T08:28:00.000-07:00

BEN & JERRY'S FREE CONE DAY IN SINGAPORE!

Date: 21st April 2009 (Tuesday)

Venue: ALL PARTICIPATING OUTLETS :D

Time: 12 Noon - 7pm.

Be there or be... unhappy! :D

The Starhub MaxMobile Experience (Part 2)

2009-04-19T08:48:00.000-07:00

*Note: Just to clarify a few bits, 'My Experience' blog series is actually like a review thing I'm doing for Ripplevox, an organization that allows its members to try things out and review them on their websites. (: They do not pay me anything at all, and I represent my views onlyyy. So no, it's not an advertisement, in attempt to persuade you to buy this phone!

So now that we've got that sorted out! This week, we'll be taking a look at the Starhub MaxMobile Value-Added Service - in simple terms, the 'internet-on-the-go'. For those who don't know, Starhub has a 'Freedom' campaign thingy going on.

So MaxMobile Value is one of the added services you can subscribe to when you sign on to plans. To most people I know, surfing the web on your phone is a sign of wealth.. either that, or you have no idea how much it costs and thinks its free.

Usually when people find out, they just scream their heads off like as if their hair was set on fire or something. (: Heh.

I used to have this strange concept that I'm paying 1cent for every kB of data I download. So, if you could imagine loading, say, kennysia.com would probably cost me a BOMB because of all the photos up there. But recently, I found out that surfing on the net can be pretty cheap afterall! :D

There are quite a number of plans available. (: For a measely SGD5.35, you get to surf and download up to 10MB on your phone! Additional charges are at 0.32c/kB (oops, more than what I imagined it to cost huh ahha!).

So you might be thinking..

What if I didn't know I've broken my 10MB limit& continued surding! HOW! ALL CHARGES WILL RUN UP TO 209148192412 dollars and I'll have to survive on beancurd for the rest of my life to pay off my bills! ):):):

Nah, don't worry about it. The folks at Starhub considered that too! Services cap at SGD36.38. So if I were you, once I suspect myself of going past the 10MB limit, I'll just spam usage. Literally. :D

After using the service for about 2 weeks now, I have to admit, it's really pretty handy! (: Usually, when I need something, I log on to the college wireless - which is free of charge- and download whatever it is I need. But the problem comes when I'm out of college. You see, I'm pretty hopeless at directions sometimes. Having internet wherever you go is like having the world in your pocket. (: You're everywhere at once!

Allow me to paint you a picture of what it's like to have internet by your side 24/7 (dude, true account of a day in my life. seriously.):

6am- I am on the bus, and I realise that I have yet to read up on East-West Philosophy for my Knowledge and Inquiry class!

I whip out my Xpressmusic 5800 and google up East-West Philo and read while I'm on the bus, traveling to school! :D

12.30pm - Bao and I are having lunch outside college and she wants to check for movie timings for the show Handsome Suit, at multiple venues, all of a sudden.

And with a few of the right buttons pressed, she confirms that the 7pm show at Plaza Singapura is the best slot available. YAY PHONE!

3.00pm - I get bored waiting for lessons and doing my tutorials.. hence, I resorted to the ultimate guilty pleasure - Facebook and Bakerella.

Heh, the pictures of those cupcake pops are just too tantalizing to bear with!

4.00pm - I am waiting for an email from my Dad about my travel plans back home during the June Holidays but my laptop wasn't with me. And normally, without the MaxMobile plan, I'd have to wait till I get home to see if he's replied.

But with it, I could just configure the settings of my mailbox in my phone and key in the password and username for my email account to retrieve emails! :D So gossipgirl, blackberry-ish. I love it! Hee.

8.00pm - I am out with Wen Shin, eating Sushi Don! :D We walk around city hall area, looking for the legendary Peninsular Plaza. Since there were no obvious signs pointing to the obscure mall, we had to keep our eyes peeled for the words PENINSULAR and PLAZA. Meh.

Maxmobile was a tad bit too late in helping us though.. the maps on streetdirectory too really long to load and we found the place even before the map finished loading the area of Raffles Place. -_-

10.00pm - Feeling guilty for not researching for my IS for the entire day, I wikipedia-ed stuff to read while on the bus home.

That's basically all I've used it for so far (: I think the service itself is genius; it really is like having the world at your fingertips because you're one touch away from checking football scores, news updates, podcasts, baking recipes (upon meeting a baking disaster), your email, blog-hopping, FACEBOOKING. You could even YOUTUBE with this thing on, by the way. (:

But as a student, I feel that SGD36.38 is quite a hefty portion of my bill, if you ask me. So to strike a balance, I would suggest to use College wireless when in college, and Starhub MaxMobile when you're outside!

... this works only if you don't decide to Youtube whenever you're on the MaxMobile 5.35 plan. (: Go check it out for yourself at Starhub's website if you have an unsatiable hunger for anything online. :D

dig your own grave, and say goodnight.

2009-04-17T08:11:00.000-07:00

Chuck, the ultimate womanizer, losing his mojo was hard to watch and bear with :/

Once, not too long ago, I was terribly afraid of admitting that I was losing my mojo. There was this sense of stubborn insistence that I could go it alone, that (as cheesy as it sounds) I can go the distance. Confidence was never a problem reflected anywhere - reports cards, testimonials, facebook comments, you name it.

Today, however, I have calmly arrived on the land of humility and bowed before the grave of what used to be my mojo. Somewhere along the way of attempting to the best of the identities I claimed- a councilor, a friend, a student, a sister and a daughter- I began to tremble in awareness of the amount of responsibility and expectation that rested on me. While some of these expectations manifested in getting the best in me (i.e. as a councilor), I began to slip away on the other aspects of life (i.e. as a student and friend), and it was only recently, that I realised, with stark clarity, that I am incredibly deficient. Because of this sudden slap of reality, my supposed confidence began to slowly creep out of me too. - Perhaps you could argue that it was only because I thought of myself as deficient, which caused me to underperform, creating a self-fulfilling prophecy of sorts. Though, the bottomline remains that the calm optimism and confidence that accompanied the air in which I carry myself, was near to being extinct. I was only catching glimpses of my old confidence, in the rarest occasions and that upsetted me more than anything else. (And being surrounded by seeming intellectuals in KI didn't quite help either..)

For those who know me on a personal basis, you would know that I've been struggling with my Independent Study proposal. I've been doing revisions after revisions of my proposal and have been rejected for a grand total of 9 times; and eyes, i am working on it now. Anyway, just to explain how exasperated I've felt, I'll paint you a simple scenario:

Imagine you're walking down a hallway, and all of a sudden, you trip over a huge boulder you didn't notice initially. So, logically, you are upset and embarrased, and claim that you wont fall over again - that you will look closely before you take another step. And so you continue walking... and tripping. For nine, bloody, times. By the time you come to the 4th or 5th time, you just lose the sense of exasperation and get up, and start walking again. The bruise doesn't hurt anymore because the pain becomes replaced by a numbness and desire for ignorance... and you just rely on the simple idea of hope, that one day, you will magically stop tripping.

So my point is, with every rejection of my proposal, the level of confidence I held declined like a fuel of tank in a speeding car on the highway. And you know, you can't stop on highways.

In the midst of all these depressing thoughts, I had decided to do the randomest thing, to visit my Uncle Daniel, the engineer for Hewlett Packard who threw away his great pay, in order to.... sell youtiao. Yes, those dough fritter things. To cut the account short, by the end of the visit, I was reminded of who he is, as a person and it really made me glow in the realisation that he didn't allow setbacks and problems to change his jovial and sincere nature. Of course, he has times when he loses his temper and feels less confident. But I suppose the distinction lies in the fact that he grieves and acknowledges the setbacks, but he holds fast to the things he felt was right and kept to his humble and sincere way of dealing with things and people. And it works for him because of that sense of resolution and faith he has in the product and himself.

So perhaps he has fallen 509301 more times than I have, and perhaps it has numbed him. But it definitely didn't alter his desire to achieve the goal he first set out when he decided that entrepeneurship was the life he wanted. - with that, I don't mourn the lost of my mojo (nor am I afraid to admit that I've lost it) because I believe that growing in place of that, is a determination to rise above the blind courage and confidence, a resolution to believe that yes, I can.

RV Blackberry Storm!

2009-04-14T08:53:00.000-07:00

RIPPLEVOX, pick me to trial Starhub's Blackberry Storm(!) Smartphone becauase I lead a Blackberry-bullet paced life.

For those who don't get the joke, you obviously haven't seen this. :D

Amazing concept! Sad for the apple though. ):

The Nokia 5800 XpressMusic Experience (Part 1)

2009-04-12T07:01:00.000-07:00

Mom, before you shriek your head off, thinking I have ran out to buy a new phone on whim, listen. Because you see, I didn't choose the phone..

the phone chose me.

Unlike my current, the Nokia Music Xpress5800 boasts of a sleek and slim design that lights up upon touch. When I first head of Nokia Music Xpress5800, I was sceptical because it was one of the first few Nokia touch-screen phone and definitely the pioneering touch-screen music phone. I mean, thats a lot of responsibility for a lightweight device! .

But it yearned to prove me wrong! This small fighter packs a mean punch with
- 81 MB internal memory, 16GB micro SD memory card (thats like 12,000 songs dude)
- Great battery life of up to 35 hours of music playback (seriously. There was this one time, I forgot to charge my phone after a whole day of listening to mp3 and surfing on the web, it was still up and alive on the next day :D)
- BLUETOOTH, unlike some devices. :D

And most importantly... it comes with the Nokia Music Store function that allows you to download tracks legally straight from the store itself!

In comparison to the iPhone, the Nokia XpressMusic5800 has a lot less in-built applications and to be honest, not a very impressive camera function ): - but I keep reminding myself, that isn't what it was designed for. (: To be fair, the XpressMusic 5800 was made to be a music phone, and the speakers are testament to that. (: Ever since I've gotten my phone, I've been downloading tracks like crazy wherever I go! (: In addition to the Windows Media Player 11, the phone supports radio tuning as well - so that means I get my fix of 98.7fm every night! -gleams-
I've been victimised, mum. The phone called out to me. ):

Talentime Coverage (Part 2)

2009-04-07T08:31:00.000-07:00

So you've seen our photoshoots, our endless tech-runs, our blood and toil and sweat and 1290348219031 hours spent on the event...

Talentime has officially landed.

The event day started early for the councilors as we entered the hallways of TJ at approximately 8am. Most of the Talentime Comm. lugged our weary bodies to the council room, feeling more than apprehensive yet terribly excited about the packed schedule for the day.

There was much to do for the day, including technical rehearsals, decoration hanging and the likes.

But I suppose there is one special incident that takes the cake for Talentime, personally.

I would like to call this incident, the 'Lightsticks Banner Emergency'.

In order for you to understand what the Lightsticks Banner Emergency is about, you will need a little background knowledge. :D Basically, I was under the Publicity and Decor Committee, along with Nadia, Li Hui, Felix and Wen Shin.

The lanyard design Bosses CK & Sendy gave us! :D

All concerts and large scale events should, justifiably have a decent banner to greet their audience with, no? Since this was our last project, we wanted to make it BIG, and different... and outstanding, basically. I can't recall who's idea it was, but in the end, the verdict of the day was, we were going to attempt constructing a banner using lightsticks, to spell out the words "It's Talentime!"

With that grand idea in mind, we headed out and got materials ready - we even invested in a HOT GLUE GUN, for crying out louddd. (: This lightsticks banner was set to happen! Obviously, we faced roadblocks like, figuring out whether the lightsticks should be glued onto the fabric or stuck onto it, or whether it should be cracked to luminousity before sticking it on, or the other way round. In the end, the combination of having mountain piles of decor work to consider and other SC commitments, we figured - the problems will sort themselves out. Let's not worry our life away!

CAUTION: Juniors, NEVER- EVER- assume that problems will sort themselves out.

So the true nightmare stared right into our eyes, an hour before the doors opened for Talentime.

Nightmare #1: Lightsticks don't stick.

In a bid to keep the lightsticks glowing bright through the event, we wanted to avoid breaking the lightsticks too early in the day. But the question of breaking -> stick onto cloth/ stick onto cloth- breaking remained. Felix was convinced that there would be no problem breaking it once we stuck it onto the cloth. And since he was evidently the handyman around the female filled committee, we conceded with just a hint of apprehension and worry.

So we worked the hot glue gun and stuck the lightsticks on the long black cloth, happily chatting away... oblivious to what struck us next.

At one corner, the Entrepreneur Club began setting up food stalls selling Subway Cookies and Flowers for the event. At the other, we began panicking because the LIGHTSTICKS DIDN'T STICK ONTO THE CLOTH UPON BENDING. Shocked as we were, we had to find an immediate solution to light those sticks up or else a lot of money was going to go to waste.

SALVATION #1: The President's Mallet

And this was the crucial moment, the President's Mallet made it's debut performance. Esti had the ingenious idea of slamming the mallet against the sticks to light them up, which worked pretty well... except for some spillover glow juice thingy when she got too excited whacking the sticks.

At this point, the performers were getting a little jumpy and excited about their big night too. Though the decor comm only had eyes for the little emergency we were running in our backyard, guests were starting to arrive. This was when

Nightmare #2: Lightsticks Banner is heck heavy!happened.

The few of the councilors and the decor comm headed to the Auditorium to get the banner set up once it was christened ready by the President's Mallet. Those who weren't busy holding up the banner trailed behind, carrying boxes of scissors, tape and twine to secure the banner onto the railings. Upon reaching, we begun puncturing holes into the black cloth and pulling thread through it to attach it strongly to the railings. Before we knew it, hanging the banner became a problem because hanging something that heavy would require holes punctured to be closer together so that the cloth will not crumple. - That would mean more holes, but no time to do more holes!

But before Nightmare 2 was solved,

Nightmare 3: Hot Glue Gun is apparently not strong enough to hold! arose.

Just as we were hanging up the banner, feeling good and confident that we were going to make it in time for the opening of doors, Nadia suddenly screamed, "PULL IT UP! A few of the lightsticks are going to fall!" Obviously afraid of having lightsticks falling on the heads of the audience, we had to mend the banner immediately and secure every other lightstick on the banner.

So yes, we had two scenarios at hand - falling lightsticks and falling banner.

Salvation #2: Some amazing Scout thingamagic that Felix pulled off.

This managed to keep the banner straight and upright for most of the event, which was pretty cool! :D Being from Scouts has it's perks I see.

Salvation #3: Scotch Tape and a lot, a lot more tape.

Crisis averted! :D

And doors were finally open.

Our doors opened up, NOW SHOWING, the Temasek Talentime 2009! :D For that night itself, we had a full-house event, selling over 500 tickets, including the upper gallery seats. You would imagine, the opening of doors for a free-seating event would be like opening the floodgates - chaotic and impossible to control.

People turned up to support their friends who performed.

Even teachers showed up grudgingly with their stacks of assesments and assignments to grade. :D

It was too bad the Floorball people were having their intensive camp during the Talentime itself. So, they missed out on the fun and excitement that got our blood pumping with adrenalin. :/

It was pretty interesting to see my peers decked out in nice civilian clothes instead of that green uniform that we're so accustomed to wearing. (: Too bad the councilors had to be in all black attire - as always, our job was to blend into the background. (we do this very well, by the way)

There was more than one body clad in black that day, though. The AV Club was also down for Talentime to give their support to SC events :D Kudos Sonia & Company :D:D

Last but not least, our ever supportive Principal and Vice Principal graced the event and officiated the opening of th show. :D From then on, it was rock and roll time, baby!

Rock and rollll.

First to perform was TZIC, the young, sassy band formed by the JC1 juniors. They played mainstream songs like "Hate That I Love You" by Rihanna and "Check Yes Juliet" by We The Kings. There were a satisfying range of performances; from dance to classical music, it definitely wasn't your American Idol styled competition.

Amongst the other singing and dancing groups, one of the solo competitors blew minds away with magic tricks. Ming Da, TJ's very own semi-professional magician was not only charming in his act - he also got Mr. Aziz to play along with him! He was simply captivating in how the audience was hooked onto his every move, trying to figure our the workings behind his tricks.

One of the most stellar performances, I thought, came from Nathania who did a courageous solo take on the song "Hero". This woman has great control over her voice and vocal chords (: Honestly, it was delightfullll.

But I suppose only one performance could have their cake and eat it too.

Our Dance, Our Crew was seriously intense in their choreography and stole the hearts of the audience with their great range and slick moves. The best part for me was Nicole's mini solo in the middle of the last segment of the dance. The pained expression on her face was priceless - definitely justified the $6 paid for watching this competition. :D I felt that she really embodied the dance and honestly, it was just damn freaking cool :D

So, every competition will come to an end with the announcement of the results.

And the first prize went to..........

Our Dance, Our Crew! :D

2nd- Ming Da (the Magician)

3rd - Hot Like Hell (band who played Bring me Back to Life and Love Story)

4th - Undefined (Dance group formed by a group of J1s)

- Basically, the night went swiftly but not without kinks of its own. (: Definitely couldn't have done it without these people though.

DURHHHHHZ, Sendy the bozz. Sorry, no photo of CK. Not like he reads my blog anyway :D

The Decor Committee - EH WENSHIN WHERE ARE YOU!

Ms. Nor! :D

Mr. Kaoooo!

Big Boss (hahah the irony!) and her Presidents' Mallet.

Png, tasting the sweetness of success :D

And the councilors tasting something slightly more practical... the sweetness of chocolate. :D

random photo of audrey and bao - arguably the most audible people in council :D

At this point, I don't even know what to comment.

The hardworking, fabulous 32nd Students' Council ;)

talentime committee 2009 :D

And despite all that time spent on mending the banner,

3 fell on the audience; but they got so excited about falling light sticks, they started waving them in the air. :D

- See, things will turn out fine people. You've got to stop worrying! It's Talentime, for goodness sake. :D

my weekend.

2009-04-06T02:14:00.000-07:00

23 days more.

33rd Students' Council Camp is over.
I've never been more physically and emotionally overwhelmed.
- though, i suspect that's going to change in 23 days' time.

Sports Day was good. (: Had fun getting burnt and smoked under the sun, and cheering for the brave competitors. It was way more fun than sitting and rotting at the grandstand, last year.
Council won 2nd for the relay! Way to go, Kam Hei, Bao and Jolene! :D We are the fast legs! :D'
We lost to the staff for Tug of War though. We should've just followed boss' plan and go "1, 2 - release!" instead of trying to fight the likes of Mr. Heng and Mr. Alex Loh. The councilors who pulled literally flew off the ground lol! I felt kinda sad that the 33rd didn't come out to cheer us on, but gaaah nevermind.

updates coming up: Talentime! :D (super late, I'm sorry!)

the people who give me hope.

2009-04-02T05:35:00.000-07:00

CONGRATULATIONS BRYAN CHONG HAU FOO! :D

meh, cornell boy!! :D treat!

man gave names to all the animals.

2009-04-02T01:48:00.000-07:00

one day, i will claim to be doing something I love, and i would never have to work a day in my entire life from then on.

but right now, i'll have to grit my teeth and pull through.
pull through.

poignant realisation.

2009-03-29T05:02:00.000-07:00

Our first ever group photo.

Pre-Camp is over. (: Congratulations to all the 33rd Elects - you will have a whole new journey ahead together. I can safely promise you, it'll be the best one you'll ever have.
Please, do me a favour and savour every moment of it?

30 days to stepping down. I'm the least bit excited for it to finally happen. Sometimes, when I slave away in front of the computer, designing posters and writing action plans, I think: "Wouldn't life be great if I didn't have this and could just fall asleep right now?" As exciting as being in council is, there will be times where we start feeling tired and contemplate even (god forbid) the use of our actions. Those are the times, I wished de-invest would come earlier.
But now, even as I revise the proposal for Council Camp and start on the action plan, I don't mind it a single bit. These are the times, I wished I hadn't wished for de-invest to come earlier.

30 days left together as a council. 30 days - it'll fly by in no time.

random musings

2009-03-24T07:14:00.000-07:00

The game of dating is akin to the college applications playing field.

Similar in both fields, in the attempt to vie for the attention and approval of a significant other, one would normally present themselves in the best light possible. Imagine how polishing up a resume before applications, is similar to polishing up your teeth and boots before a date. Or like how obsessively searching for the college's creed and motto before an interview, is akin to obsessing over his/her likes and favorites before a big date.

And just like the dating field, all college applicants have a fair chance at each college, and applicants may feel free to browse through the plethora of colleges in the world, and search and scour deep for the ones that suit them best. They may then appeal to as many colleges as they wish - but should eventually only settle with one.

MCTs pre-day stress.

2009-03-21T21:59:00.000-07:00

i just need a minute for my brain to cool down. it feels like it's going to explode.
- i need a minute.

Conman alert!

2009-03-21T07:16:00.000-07:00

EDIT: Click Here to read Qing's continuation of my post!

Everyday I wake up thinking, "It's going to be bright and sunny today!" It doesn't matter if yesterday was horribly wasted on gluing paper mache cups together, or if yesterday was a fantastically lavish day of pamper and comfort; what matters is today.

I mean, if you seriously think about it, it's a pretty good way to look at life, no? Just like doing charity! There's nothing wrong in contributing back to the society, in aid of the needy, the dejected and the helpless. In fact, it is a commendable effort to bridge the income gap between the poor and the rich; it should be applauded! :D However, sometimes, charity contributions may just prove to be not an absolutely fabulous endeavour, just like how life always has pockets of surprises laying in wait when you least expect it.

Qing and I were just walking toward Plaza Singapura today at Dhoby Gaut after a relatively fruitful session of mugging nearby, when we were confronted (I refuse to use the word 'ambushed') by a boy clad in an all black, tapered jeans and cardigan ensemble.

Boy   :Ma'am, do you believe in giving second chances to prisoners?

*long pause while Qing looks absolutely puzzled, and I look shocked and taken aback*
*I look at Qing, dumbfounded that she’s absolutely quiet!*

Me   :Uh, I guess?

Boy   :That's good. Would you like to donate $5 dollars to our organisation? We help ex   convicts earn money. I personally was an ex-con..

*mumbles incoherently and rapidly*

Boy   :.. Right now, you're heading to the mall. You're probably going to spend 30 to 40   dollars buying stuff and I don't question that. All I ask from you is just 5 dollars to help   the people who really need it.

*Qing looks even more puzzled and hesitant, while I start thinking - whoa you dress pretty fancy for an ex-con. Maybe I should consider your profession.*

Boy   :Ma'am, its only five dollars.
*Boy thrusts the card in our direction*

At this point of time, Qing and I had zero intention of helping him - I mean, shaddy attire aside, he wasn't holding on to any legit proof that he was working for any real organisation. I mean, hello, he didn't even mention what organisation he was working for.

Qing : Oh huh, but I don't have any cash with me now. Sorry.
(and in my mind, it echoes, 'shit! she just used the best excuse!')
Boy : *still persistent* Then how about you ma'am? Why don't you buy one and she can split the cost when she has the money?
Me : Uhh i don't know if i have enough money with me.. 5 dollars is quite a lot of money..
Boy : Why don't you check?

And the boy eyes my bag persistently, hoping that I will open up the tote and grab my wallet. And so I started rummaging through my bag. Qing signals to me not to pay him anything by shaking her head vigorously. Like, seriously vigorously.

Internal conversation:
Shit mel. How how how. You don't want to pay. You're not even convinced. Should I just say that I left my wallet at the place we were studying at? Would it seem too fake? But we'll need to walk past Dhoby Gaut later! What if he approaches us again-
Crap. He saw the wallet.

- and the internal conversation ends, with me conceding to defeat. I was going to spend 5 bucks on something that I truly, truly will regret later on. While we were walking away, I was trying to convince myself that perhaps he really needed the cash. I tried to exercise the principle of charity, the benefit of the doubt! I tried.

Mel's Angel : Maybe he really needed it. Perhaps he just wore the best attire he has so that people will not look at him at a negative light and be prejudiced against him.
Mel's Devil : Seriously? The dude was even better dressed than you on normal days! Branded cardigan (Qing later told me that she recognises the brand of the cardigan and that it probably wasn't cheap), And he had a leather wallet!
Mel's Angel : Well.. it could be fake?
Mel's Devil : Really? Okay. Then why didn't he mention anything about the organisation? Why didn't he try to convince Qing to help in other ways. Don't you find it shady that he didnt even bother to hold the certificate of legitimacy to prove to people that he was the real deal? I mean, come on. If you go around telling people you're an ex-con, you don't expect to attract people like ants to sugar.

Lost in my thoughts, I didn't realise that Qing was headed towards the boy to question him about his license. He was on his way, taking hasty and impatient steps towards the MRT's convenience store. When Qing called out to him, he suddenly jerks and (perhaps its a psychological trick but I think) I saw a hint of fear in his eyes. Under Qing's request, he headed towards his group of friends, sitting at the staircase outside the MRT, and grabbed a sheet of paper, which he later claimed to be his license.

Qing's internal thoughts:
Huh. Is this real? Where's the authority logo? There's no name or identification. Waitaminute... even the stamp of certification is photocopied. NEVER IN MY YEARS OF FLAG DAY FUNDRAISING HAVE I SEEN A LICENSE LESS PROPER! Is there a proper title for the 'organisation'?

As she was scrutinizing the license, I stole a glance at the boy and apparently, he seemed calm enough but his gang of friends (who were heavily tattooed and were flaunting them) suddenly stopped smoking and shot questioning glances in his direction. The alarming part happened when they suddenly averted their attention from the boy, to Qing, as she continued to scrutinize the alleged license. Intimidated by the boy's gang of friends, it wasn't a difficult choice to make to let go of the case. Throwing a sarcastic 'thanks and good luck' along the way, we headed to Starbucks with heavy discontent in our hearts.

------

You can have either of the two kinds of possible of response now.

1) Dang, girl. You're pretty dumb you know. You've so obviously been conned!

2) You probably wasn't conned lah! You just think you were and therefore all your suspicions gather to reach a conclusion that you want to believe!

If you think scenario 1, my response is a simple, YEAH I KNOW I'VE BEEN SCAMMED OF MY 5 DOLLARS. Doesn't mean that I wasn't aware when I paid. If you think scenario 2, I sorry I can't get into his head to report his side of the story. Would've loved to. Seriously.

----

We spent the next cup of coffee in Starbucks just thinking how two perfectly educated almost-adults could willingly get conned! We've reached the conclusion that it was because we were taken aback, and were guilt tripped into it. Not wanting to seem like snobbish rich kids who couldn't care less for the poor, or go back on our word after answering yes to his first question, we succumbed to being pigs, subjected to financial slaughter. ): Further debate caused our blood to boil; it wasn't about the money any more. Yes, 5 dollars can buy me 5 packs of Nong Shim Ramen at ESSO gas station. That's 5 meals, I know. But the more aggravating fact was that they were guilt tripping unsuspecting optimists who, under such pressurizing circumstances, would be socially forced into a quagmire, and behave irrationally!

So we came up with possible reactions we could have had:

Scenario 1: We could have just walked away.

It would've been rude, and socially unconventional if he was legit. But it would've saved us the anger, the annoyance, the 2.5 hour I've spent typing this blog post.. and well, 5 dollars.

Scenario 2: We could have questioned about his organisation endlessly.

It would be the rational thing to do! I mean, you tell me that my 5 dollars will help people like you. I should ask how! - Why don't I just spend that 5 dollars on 2 loaves of bread and a bottle of mineral water, and ensure that your meal will be covered? I should know where my money is going!

Scenario 3: We could have indirectly implied that he was not the real deal.

It would go something like this:

Mel : Oh shucks, I would really love to help but I don't have the cash now. Could you allow me the grace of helping you through material donations? My brother has a lot of old clothes that he has outgrown, but they're still pretty decent in quality! Where could I deliver things like these to support your living?

Qing : Hmm, Mel I think that's a very noble idea. *turns to the boy* But looking at the way you're dressed, you seem to be in a good place right now. You probably won't be needing it right?

Scenario 4: We could have confronted him about the certificate/license.

Qing : Hey. If this is official, the stamp of approval shouldn't be photocopied. (Optional in case he says its a back up: Do you have the original document, if this is a back up?)

Mel : Yeah. In order to legally ask for donations, you'll need the original document with you. I hope you're not trying to do anything that isn't legal or right. I mean, I'm just looking out for you man.. If the police were to be notified, I sense that this would be quite an awkward situation for you.. and I'm sure prison isn't a very happy place where you would like to return to.

Note: Though I'm convinced if we used scenario 4, we would've been stalked by his intimidating bunch of tattooed, smoking friends, and Qing and I would've probably died of horrible death, and have our bodies strewn somewhere in the Kallang sewer. - or just get beaten to pulp. You know, whatever's more realistic in your imagination.

After contemplating the many things that we could've done instead, I was at a point of extreme agitation where I felt this sense of justice overwhelming me. I wanted to do something very badly, but I didn't want to dive into it foolishly because afterall, death threats aren't awfully pleasant, you know.

So I had to be clever if I were to decide to take action. Considering that if we were to use the scenarios above, we would need to be rewind time and to be at where he first approached us, Qing and I came up with a plan. It would've gone something like this:

SCENARIO 5: We could go up to him and express our overt 'gratitude' for being given a chance to do a good deed, and offer to help his cause by blogging this encounter up.

Mel : Hey, you were the boy who asked for donations a while ago for the fund for ex- convicts right? Listen, I was thinking about what you said about spending on those people who really need the help and I really wanna thank you for giving me this opportunity. In fact, *rummage through bag & grab camera* Qing, why don't you take a picture of this boy and me so that I can post a picture on my blog, along with my post. SAY CHEE-(eeeaterbug)-SE!
(if at this point, he refuses to pose with his 'license' or have a photo taken at all, we launch into a milder prong of scenario 4, where we hint that police involvement would be nasty. You know, only milder. :D If that doesn't happen, read on!)
Okay, so where is your HQ? When is your next donation drive?
*anticipate patiently to take notes*

Scenario 5 will not get me my money back. But scenario 5 will hopefully plant a seed of fear in their minds, telling them that they are on the verge of being exposed as being frauds. I'm not naively hoping that they will recognize the wrongs of their ways; in fact, I'm convinced that they will not stop conning people until they get caught, but all I want is for them to they realise that people don't pay up blindly, that people don't just get guilt tripped so easily.

And so, Qing and I headed off (she was trembling, okay!) But overwhelmed with injustice, I wanted to set things right. I wanted to at least have them realise that their plan is not ingenious, or that they could be exposed. With that, we went straight towards the square outside the Plaza. As we arrived, approximately half an hour after the incident, we realised, they were already gone.

Perhaps they moved on to more profitable venues...

or perhaps, it did strike them that they could've been exposed and that struck a chord of fear in them - that, life, as bright and sunny as it may be, does have unexpected pockets of surprise in store for them - those that come in the form of a simple gesture of suspicion from two girls.

Manhatttan Sightseeing.

2009-03-18T10:17:00.000-07:00

Now I know I'm supposed to be studying, or at least posting up part 2 of Talentime event coverage, but I couldn't resist! :D

Chuck Bass in his full resplendent glory ;) Enjoy! - i liked him a lot better when his hair didn't suck. damnit. haircuts ruin everything.

I actually thought the first one (unextended version) was better! Way too long, a video for bass in this one. (:

Very well done. (: Love the scarf! :D

Talentime - Event Coverage (Part 1)

2009-03-16T06:09:00.000-07:00

Planning a project requires personal sacrifices, team effort..

.. good communication between models and photographers..
.. patience with models who move too much for their own good..
.. standing in the rain, and proceeding with photoshoots despite gloomy weather (only to photoshop pictures later on! :D)..

But after much toil and sweat, building up the momentum from day to day - including a final mad dash of decoration work in the week prior to the event day itself, the bells are finally rung, the doors finally open.

It's Talentime, people.

Talentime - Event Coverage (Part 2)

2009-03-16T05:26:00.000-07:00

So you've seen our photoshoots, our endless tech-runs, our blood and toil and sweat and 1290348219031 hours spent on the event...

Talentime has officially landed.

There was much to do for the day, including technical rehearsals, decoration hanging and the likes.

But I suppose there is one special incident that takes the cake for Talentime, personally.

I would like to call this incident, the 'Lightsticks Banner Emergency'.

The lanyard design Bosses CK & Sendy gave us! :D

CAUTION: Juniors, NEVER- EVER- assume that problems will sort themselves out.

So the true nightmare stared right into our eyes, an hour before the doors opened for Talentime.

Nightmare #1: Lightsticks don't stick.

So we worked the hot glue gun and stuck the lightsticks on the long black cloth, happily chatting away... oblivious to what struck us next.

SALVATION #1: The President's Mallet

Nightmare #2: Lightsticks Banner is heck heavy! happened.

But before Nightmare 2 was solved,

Nightmare 3: Hot Glue Gun is apparently not strong enough to hold! arose.

So yes, we had two scenarios at hand - falling lightsticks and falling banner.

Salvation #2: Some amazing Scout thingamagic that Felix pulled off.

This managed to keep the banner straight and upright for most of the event, which was pretty cool! :D Being from Scouts has it's perks I see.

Salvation #3: Scotch Tape and a lot, a lot more tape.

Crisis averted! :D

And doors were finally open.

People turned up to support their friends who performed.

Even teachers showed up grudgingly with their stacks of assesments and assignments to grade. :D

It was too bad the Floorball people were having their intensive camp during the Talentime itself. So, they missed out on the fun and excitement that got our blood pumping with adrenalin. :/

There was more than one body clad in black that day, though. The AV Club was also down for Talentime to give their support to SC events :D Kudos Sonia & Company :D:D

Last but not least, our ever supportive Principal and Vice Principal graced the event and officiated the opening of th show. :D From then on, it was rock and roll time, baby!

Rock and rollll.

But I suppose only one performance could have their cake and eat it too.

So, every competition will come to an end with the announcement of the results.

And the first prize went to..........

Our Dance, Our Crew! :D

2nd- Ming Da (the Magician)

3rd - Hot Like Hell (band who played Bring me Back to Life and Love Story)

4th - Undefined (Dance group formed by a group of J1s)

- Basically, the night went swiftly but not without kinks of its own. (: Definitely couldn't have done it without these people though.

Png, tasting the sweetness of success :D

And the councilors tasting something slightly more practical... the sweetness of chocolate. :D

random photo of audrey and bao - arguably the most audible people in council :D

At this point, I don't even know what to comment.

The hardworking, fabulous 32nd Students' Council ;)

talentime committee 2009 :D

And despite all that time spent on mending the banner,

3 fell on the audience; but they got so excited about falling light sticks, they started waving them in the air. :D

- See, things will turn out fine people. You've got to stop worrying! It's Talentime, for goodness sake. :D

bumblebees.

2009-03-12T06:55:00.001-07:00

- our bumbleebees!

i miss playing frisbee on evenings of stress and anxiety; i miss screaming out loud just because.
- i have this rekindled flame for team sports. every bead of sweat is worth the pain and agony the day after when you walk awkwardly because of the muscle aches. council relay race on sports day is scaring me shitless. (oops)

So are MCTs and KI consultations actually. I should just crouch under the table and never come out to see the daylight should i decide to live in such fear everyday. - to hell with a social life! 09 is a year of perspiration and aspirations. bring it on, babe. bring it on.

jason mraz live in singapore.

2009-03-05T07:06:00.000-08:00

i'm sipping coffee at a quarter to two,
i'm awake and i'm dialin and my mind's running to you.
no wonder i'm a one woman man,
she keeps my heart in a jar in a night stand.

- to all the funky fans of jason mraz out there, you have truly been blessed with a sun that shines even when the earth rotates the other way round. we've been truly, truly blessed. i'm sure the rain will not dampen the moods of those queuing in wait for his exit from the Singapore Indoor Stadium right now. (: Though xiuqing was super apologetic for having to leave early and not wait for the god-like mraz to exit, i was contented.

i'm not high. i'm not hungry for more - but that isn't bad.
i'm at my centre.
it's this little place with 2 small windows where it's perpetually shining and bright, and although sometimes it does get a little hot in here, there's always a door open. small as it may be, it's big enough to admit the ones that matter. oh, and there are cupcakes in my little centre too.

i'm happy to be at my centre. (:

- and to the non-fans of Jason Mraz,
dudes, you have no idea what you're missing out on. but hey, good on you.

- more soon, with photos and vids :D thank you xiuqing, it was beyond amazing.
beyond words.

and when I fall in love, i'll take my time
there's no need to worry when i'm making up my mind.
you can turn off the sun, but i'm still gonna shine.

32nd

2009-02-21T07:16:00.000-08:00

my fb status is:
Melanie ♥ tjc32sc.23 hours ago - clear

true 23 hours ago. still true 23 hours later.
will be true, probably forever.

---
next week is jam-packed with council and tests again, but it's all good. (:
really looking forward to alpha's house function, ultimate frisbee on tuesday actually!
have been so caught up with work and fatigue that i didn't workout much.
feeling so very flabby. hahah! - running resumes tmr!

the wheel of fate and luck is right about the top now.
thank you to my bunch of special people who got my notes. you have successfully conquered my heart; you've left a mark. (:

joining council was the best choice i've ever made. best.

I come in here and I sit in silence and hear the echoes of who we used to be.
And so I wish for patience, grace, and strength to just let him be happy. Mostly I pray for the strength to not make his life worse because of what I want. That's the toughest part, letting go.
That's the part of grace that really sucks.
- its like dizie and i are telepathic or something.

a long awaited confession.

2009-02-13T06:34:00.000-08:00

I need Ripplevox to give me a Nokia Comes With Music device with StarHub’s MaxMobile data service because I AM A MUSIC JUNKIE THAT NEEDS HER FIX. :D

Sometimes I feel..
sappy,
rappy,
nappy,
crabby,
snappy, and occasionally,
happy!

This whirlwind of emotions in me I try to hold,
trying my best, not to have a tantrum thrown.
And that's when I really know,
that music is my biggest ammo.

Be it drowning in my lecturers drones,
Or being treated like one on a throne,
I always have my steady, trusty phone!

Oh N95, how dear a journey it has been,
you have your memory maxed out just for me.
Your sweet whispers at night and loud shrills in the day,
come from hip hop & rap, to even broadway.
And though sometimes for energy, you scour deep,
you'll always be the perfect fix, for a music junkie like me.

devil in me.

2009-02-12T04:04:00.000-08:00

So don't break my heart
I ain't never done
Nothing to deserve this
I'm torn apart
You've had your fun.
Do you suppose I've earned it?
Do you not see, how I'm begging on my knees?
No don't speak, don't breathe,
You bring out the devil in me.

- Kate Voegele, Devil in Me.

roadrun tmr! stitch and cramps, don't come tmr ):

chronicles of my feet.

2009-02-11T03:17:00.000-08:00

not running today just because i don't feel like it.

braindamage

2009-02-09T04:37:00.000-08:00

arggghh i can't speak in proper paragraphs now so i'm gonna adopt vibhu's style to help me think. yes.
1. ki
proposal almost done. yay. actual research about to begin. nay.

2. council
orientation started the j1's school year with a bang, for most of them at least. it left most of the councilors burnt and/or injured in one way or another. oh well, it was worth every moment of it, I believe. (but then again, I was in the hall under the comfort of the air conditioner. eep.)

3. family
i haven't been talking to them a lot lately; only when i'm sick or feel nostalgic, i'd pick up the phone and ring back for a random 5 minutes chat. i don't want to drift from them again, but my priorities are not exactly mapped out the way i want it to be. shucks.

4. miscellaneous issues that are happening concurrently.
im in 2 committees and have a council camp to plan. my parents would so kill me if they found out i've been spending nights designing posters/planning for events and NOT doing my tutorials. meh. NADIA WHY WONT YOU PICK UP YOUR PHONE!
my to-do list looks something like this:
- finish physics SPA
- start doing math tutorial (about 2 tutorials to catch up on)
- finish physics tutorial & MCQs by thursday
- start brainstorming on a skit for friendship week with sinyee&weihao
- start designing TTT posters (like helloooo nadia! pick up! ):
- train for council camp & road run.

5. i am buying new shoes for running. i am going to take running seriously.

6. mcts are in 1.5months time.

tell me its not weird that i still miss london. if only i could drop everything and meet you there.

wonderful and colourful Orientation Undefined

2009-02-03T16:08:00.000-08:00

Orientation Undefined 2009 @ Temasek Junior College is colourful & flavourful and just fantasticfullllll :D Hahah, things have been going great so far. It hasn't been smooth sailing but it's been very rewarding. The best thing about Orientation is that it reminded me of what I felt was the most meaningful thing about coming to a JC. It's about meeting new people and moving forward (:

And of course, for my fellow wonderful scholars have been working their bottoms off for these 5 days, you guys are my pillars of support. <33

JOIN COUNCIL; we are family!

athousandthings

2009-01-28T21:58:00.000-08:00

Oh the fact of the matter is
And I don't know what the latter is, oh no way
See, I've always wanted to kiss you
But I, I always wanted to run from you
Because I've always wanted to miss you
And I, I always wanted to come for you.
- Jason Mraz, athousandthings. (:

Even Ernest is listening to Mraz now! :D
gosh days have been hard; hard enough to crumble one not-so-tough cookie.
when i made the choice to buck up and do my tutorials this year, i never foresaw it to be this hard. no more moral dilemmas of sleeping early and not completing tutorials- that is no longer a question. the question now is, how long till i'm done! ):

oh man. zik, i now know how hard it was for you. ):

muah!

2009-01-17T23:24:00.000-08:00

julian from OTH is so hot omg. :D
i want someone who knows my fav coffee and bring it to me too (:

of the day.

2009-01-13T05:38:00.000-08:00

yayyyy. tickets for jason mraz's concert have been SECURED :D wooters.

song of the day: the salt water room - owl city.
you're perfect in your imperfection.

quote of the day: you can do well in KI if you are good at it. :D - CK.

highlight(s) of the day: midnight celebration of vee's bday + HK CAFE CELEBRATION :D

there are one too many things you still do not know about TJC - don't just dismiss us as a back up plan if you don't get into the VJC, don't forget our warmth beneath the demure exterior; don't leave your small footsteps behind, come back and make big dreams with us.
you won't regret it. (:

S:

2009-01-07T12:25:00.000-08:00

you guys know how much I love Jason Mraz.
I mean, really.
5th march 2009.
Singapore.
IF YOU TELL ME THE TICKETS ARE ALREADY SOLD OUT I WILL KILL SOMEONE.

shit!

pride&prejudice.

2009-01-04T19:02:00.000-08:00

"From the very beginning— from the first moment, I may almost say— of my acquaintance with you, your manners, impressing me with the fullest belief of your arrogance, your conceit, and your selfish disdain of the feelings of others, were such as to form the groundwork of disapprobation on which succeeding events have built so immovable a dislike; and I had not known you a month before I felt that you were the last man in the world whom I could ever be prevailed on to marry."
- Elizabeth Bennet, Pride and Prejudice.

it's going to be quite a ride.

2008-12-30T07:33:00.000-08:00

go make your new year resolutions now, love.
it's about time.

hello 2009, goodbye 2008; let 'er rip, boys!

on special request.

2008-12-26T01:57:00.000-08:00

i am thinking of shifting to another blog.
both good and bad times have had their logs on this site.
change is healthy, change is good.

i cannot keep telling people my site is snowballparadise7.
dude, seriously.
change is in the air for those who embrace it - move along with me.

looneyconnection calls for desperate measures

2008-12-21T03:07:00.000-08:00

dear david.
i apologise for my looney connection here in London but I am doing fine and well..
actually, i'm even considering going off without my sister and her bf to do some sightseeing of my own! i mean heck, you're right. it gets dark at 3pm here! might as well soak up a little bit of sunlight before its all gone, right!

i'm so glad i got to say hello; you have no idea.
thank you for everything (: i know you're probably thinking you didn't do anything anyway, right.
but like i said, you have no idea. (:

smilinggg all the way from London for you! <3

:/

2008-12-18T02:34:00.000-08:00

ahhh! i miss my haircuts at heatwave! ):
as always, i hate my new hair and wished I could go back to an hour ago before I got these HALF-bangs. ):

effff.

2008-12-18T00:32:00.000-08:00

I'm sorry for everything.
You deserve better.
Don't come looking for me.
- Chuck.

as a chair fan, I screamed in anger, frustration, unexpected joy, relief, and sorrow all in one
episode. As the season concludes with the long awaited final episode, "O Where Bart Thou?", the fate of the characters hang in the balance (yet again) but one thing is certain!
Blair and Chuck have developed undeniable chemistry with one another.

You simply cannot deny it; the moment where Blair hugs a dejected looking Chuck in her bedroom is simply divine. (: Two-thumbs up for Ed Westwick!

In a little less than 5 hours, I will be heading to the airport (:

the last call.

2008-12-16T20:17:00.000-08:00

how much love you had for someone is not measured by how much pain you feel when they are gone. - its measured by the amount of happiness you feel for the other person's joy.

--
twilight was just completely awesome.
i still don't quite like rob pattinson though; i don't think there's any human worthy of that character - he is inhuman, after all. heh.
can't wait to watch it in the cinemas with steph and joe! :D

i'm a little jet-setting, ill-stricken, girl flying off to London tomorrow. (:
it's going to be my first trip without my parents, so I'm pretty excited.
thank you, daddy!! :D
afternoon tea scones and boxing day, here I come!

- darn you, weijian! you can paris my foot! D:

logged!- 3 days at Phuket

2008-12-14T05:12:00.000-08:00

What on earth is SIDE SEAing?

0530
Unlike how drowsy and groggy I was, the car engine sounded a clear and resounding roar and beckoned me out of bed as we rushed to the airport, hauling luggage and hand carried bags of items intended to be used as in-flight entertainment.

And off we go, with the street lights as the only beacons of light that illuminated the ebony night, to the airport, and to Phuket, Thailand!

0700
Forget about in-flight entertainment. All we wanted at this point was our stomachs entertained with food, and some shut eye. Well, one thing I've learned is that, always pack your own food on board Air Asia, even if they say "outside food is disallowed". It practically is daylight robbery to charge RM21 for 2 bowls of instant noodles and 2 cups of milo - and they didn't even bother to embellish it with pretty airline bowls so that we can't tell it's instant noodles!

1000
After renting a car at an agency near the airport which looked almost illegal, we headed off to Kamala Beach Resort to check in. By this point, Mum and I were STARVING, because I konked out on the plane and missed the wonderfully extortionistic breakfast, and because mum was frugal enough to want to remain hungry until we get free breakfast from the hotel buffet. :D
And well, Dizie was hungry too. Well, he always is. (:

So we sang in the car to distract ourselves! :D

Upon pulling into Kamala Beach Resort, we caught a whiff of the buffet spread and hurried up to load our luggage into the rooms and tucked in... until we found out that breakfast was not included in our room booking charge for the day of check in. Oops. :D

1100

My idea of the perfect holiday is to spend time relaxing - to not worry about having my things stolen, or to have woes of getting to a certain destination without getting lost again, or to wonder when would be the next meal - and Phuket was really the best place to do that.

And so I lounged by the pool on one of those tanning chairs with the rest of the pack of European tourists who were hungry to soak up a winter's supply of sun as company.

And occasionally, when it got too hot, I jumped into the pool to cool off a little (: It was truly one of the most relaxing afternoons I've had all year. The cherry on top of the delightful afternoon was the fact that I successfully tanned up by a little! - this is amazing achievement for someone who fails to get even the slightest tan from kayaking trips in OBS when everyone else gets sunbaked like lobsters. Like hello, 5 days of kayaking under the bright, shiny sun and NOTHING! Gosh.

1800
If you google up Phuket's tourist attractions, the first thing to turn up would be FantaSEA. It is the "MUST-CATCH" show for anyone who bothers setting foot on this sunnier than Singapore island. After a good day tanning and swimming, we headed down to the Golden Kinaree for a sumptuous buffet.

The buffet gloats of 40 thousand renowned chefs, preparing mouth-watering international cuisine; I was skeptical when I read that on the brochure, thinking, "Really? 40 thousand chefs? for 20 Malaysian ringgit per head? Are they trying to get themselves ripped off?"

.. and I still am. I swear, you would probably find a little more than 4 chefs preparing food in an overtly oily kitchen that uses pots and pans dating back to the Malaysian colonial times.
The buffet spread wasn't impressive. Unlike the dynamic ornation the seats and setting were, the buffet spread had barely 30 dishes, with things you could find everywhere else - I'm talking about Fried Noodles, Fried Rice, Sushi Rolls, Green Curry Fish Balls.

VERY INTERNATIONAL MEH.

2000

You can't ever visit any part of Thailand and miss their Elephants! They were indeed the grandest (physically and metaphorically speaking, of course) attraction in FantaSEA. Though, however well people them up and feed them, I still can't help but feel a pang of guilt and a dash of melancholy seeing these supposedly venerable creatures being held under our leashes and have to walk and sit on our commands.

Damnit. Yes, I was thinking of the poem we did on Elephants and performing creatures earlier this year in Lit. ):
And so, we fed the elephants.
And they posed for us.
And we took some photos.
And made our parents take some photos, before we headed into the theatre to wait for the "MUST-CATCH" show to begin. For the record, I was highly sceptical about the show, as well. Having been to many of these shows ranging from "The Thousand hands of the Guan Ying Pu Sa" in Beijing to "Jumping Dolphins" in Australia, I was not a terribly big fan of these 2 hours long performances whose aims, other than to entertain their overcharged customers, were completely hazy. Though despite my sceptical view, the FantaSEA show proved to be quite spectacular with elephants cruising in as an opening scene. They were in such proximity, they could make you go 'WHAT!' The acts were... interesting to say the least. There were magic acts, crowd participation, and acrobat performances! The acrobatic action was breathtaking, though! Perhaps the best of the load of uh, things, they did.

If you don't mind a fairly hazy plot, and just want to watch fireworks and people on ropes and animals - you can check it out for a good RM 100 per adult, inclusive of the dinner that precedes the show itself. Even if you're not the show type of person, it's always worth your buck to watch the ever diligent Thai put on a show with such warmth and sincerity.

DAY 2 - 0700
After a bowl of good cereal, and bacon and egg for Dizie, we headed off to visit some of the most renowned beaches in the world. (sendy beach! haha) We were greeted by chopping blue seas as it rocked the boat back and forth, sending sprays of salty seawater in through the window openings. Dizie and I were both going, "Oh gosh, I feel my breakfast coming on!"

While we were making hurling sounds, I think we accidentaly triggered an upset stomach in one of the other passengers as a Taiwanese girl clad in a bikini suit hurled towards the back of the boat. And yes, after that incident, we stopped making hurling sounds. The sight wasn't pretty. at all.

0900

I felt extremely dumb when the tour guide Ms. Linda, who was clearly physically male but mentally female, introduced us to our first activity of the day - snorkelling. I felt extremely dumb not because I didn't anticipate this, but rather, because despite clearly noting the itinerary, I didn't pack for it. So down I went in, dressed in my Nike Human Race shirt with a life vest strapped on tight on my virgin attempt at snorkelling.

You know how you always see in the advertisements where people go into the sea and snorkle; they usually see all these beautiful corals and amazingly clear water and schools of fishes just swimming by?

Yeah, it was something like that... except for the fishes (there was only one school of fish. i think they were on holiday or something.), and the beautiful corals (they were so deep down under, and because the water was so dark and unlit towards the bottom, we could hardly see any).

Not only did I drink a heck lot of salt water trying to breathe through the mouth piece, I was dragged down multiple times by my aquaphobic brother. To be honest, I could understand the fear of drowning, especially in the sea where the depth is unknown. I wasn't that much afraid because of that quary jump we did at OBS - from then on, I have had vested good faith in life jackets and know that they never fail. :D

1100

After a fruitful 25 minutes of snorkeling, I have 2 tips for those who want to attempt:
1) Beware of Jellyfishes, no matter how small they may seem. OR in other words, Don't touch anything you don't recognize!
There was a kid on board who got stung by a jellyfish, and I swear, you could see him turning purple. Oops.

the hurling taiwanese girl is in the top left corner of the picture!

2) Always, ALWAYS pack for spare change of clothes and TOWELS when you intend to snorkel.
I was left shivering, had a horrible taste of salt water in my mouth, smelled really really bad (almost like pee only less salty) and was on the verge of puking, with much thanks to the rocking boat. So yes, prepare for these. Thank goodness Daddy lent me his shirt to keep warm from the clutches of the violent sea breeze as we coast along bays like James Bond Bay where they shot one of the JB movies about 20 years ago; we visited a bay where they shot 'The Beach' with Leonardo Dicaprio as well.

thats, daddy shirtless and mummy with her mannn braving the winds. ZIS IS FOR YOUU, NIAN YING!

1200
After unpleasant hours on the rocking boat, we made a pit-stop at Monkey island. And obviously, when an island is named after an animal, you can expect it to be populated by the same animal.

and obviously, they must be skilled enough to open a pepsi bottle to be credited an island with their species name branded on it. :D Dizie kept asking me, at this point, whether monkeys get sugar highs. -_-

this is mummy and her half frightened, half excited expression upon being in such close proximity with a monkey! :D

daddy and mummy - i like this photo!

attempted star jump shot by Dizie.

dad and dizie in green. :D

hahah and this was taken after much request from me for daddy to do his Daniel Craig, Casino Royale walk from the sea debut. haha! ahhh, i love their seasss!

1230

Lunch was in order, after much sight-seeing, monkey-seeing and taiwanese-girl-hurling. Buffet spread again; honestly, i was really starting to doubt Thailand's status as having an eclectic selection of food. Before lunch, mum, dizie and I hopped by the nearest shirt store to get something dry for me to change into -and we got a black sundress! :D hee hee. tried on like a thousand and one dresses before we bought it LOL.

1330

A relaxing day at the beach.

Daddy and mummy were sleeping in the shade, while Dizie and I tried to entertain ourselves for the 2 hours we spent at Khai Island. I went snorkelling again for a bit, and got a splinter in my toe. D: I was honestly annoyed at how there was really NOTHING to see down there - stop telling us we can snorkel there just because there are no sharks!

Oh, and it didn't help that those little kids (probably from one of the Asian countries) went around screaming AHH THERES A SHARK THERES A SHARK! ITS GREY! ITS COMING! For the first time I heard it, I actually believed them and swimmed upshore ASAP. Then, when I was greeted by a bunch of squealing kids running about tickling each other, screaming its a shark! its a whale! its a monkey with a pink tail!, I decided to continue snorkeling ANYWAY. Take my chances.

oh god forbid, if I actually do get eaten up by a shark, it'll be the kids' fault.

after which, I pulled a Lilo* under the suggestion of Diziekins, and went around snapping photos of random strangers on a beach.

*To pull a Lilo is to hold a camera on a beach and take random pictures of random strangers no matter how invasive it seems. With reference to the movie Lilo & Stitch and the character Lilo. Exhibit A of a photo from a Lilo-stunt.

Exhibit B -
Dizie fell in love with this baby and kept asking me to take a photo her in the car on the way back to the resort.. and kept insisting that it was BOY.

Exhibit C -
totally hot fedora hat guy playing ball on the beach. omg this is for you, jolene! :D:D

Exhibit D

1900

wonderful desserts at Lai Mai!

The evening was spent at Patong Beach; after dining at the ever most exquisite Lai Mai restaurant where you really do get the most bang for your buck, we roamed around the streets of Patong beach for some bargain hunting. It is really a haven for bargain hunters who derive joy from slashing prices by half or three-quater.

Mum and I had a real kick from buying knock off chanel and gucci shades. :D Though Patong Beach is well-known for its congested streets with tourists inundating the scene, there wasn't much elbowing going around when we were there. It's been a low tourist season, mentioned by most stall holders we've spoken to.. with much thanks to the instability in the mainland.

Day 3
It was a day of massages and relaxation - we went down to the beach to get massages while Dizie locked himself in for some good ol' fashioned TV.
Afterwhich, we made a trip down to Jungceylon Shopping Centre for some sushi lunch at Fuji!
Fuji is a MUST VISIT place, totally recommended by yours truly.

They serve generous portions at a very reasonable price! Bento sets for RM 22 and I bet you, it'll taste better than Sushi King, Genki Sushi, Sakae Sushi or whatever it is that serves your jap meal. :D Meals come with free parking for 3 hours and coffee or tea, and fruits. :D

Our shopping buys include:
- New specs for Justin and Mum (authentic Dior, baby!)
- 2 Pairs of coloured contacts for me (though you can totally not tell that they are coloured, at all.)
- Free reading glasses for Daddy
- A pair of New Balance shoes for my running endeavours! :D
- T-shirts (they are like, staple shopping items!) for Justin and Daddy
- Stuff for Joe and NY (we didn't forget you! :D)
And some other stuff. Hee hee.

All in all, I loved the trip - despite having to haul Dizie out of bed at hours late into the day! - its been so long since I've truly spent carefree moments with my family and this trip was perfect. Sometimes, I can't help but think that in a few years time, we wouldn't be able to do this. Dad and mum would be marching into their early fifties and I'll hopefully be overseas for academic pursuits. Nian Ying's already gone :/ If I could pick one moment to freeze time, I would wind back to a few years before this - before we were all spreaded out in different countries - and freeze it all right there.

Aging sucks.

twilight outburst

2008-12-13T06:43:00.000-08:00

oh oh oh oh oh oh freak.
NEED to talk to vee! NEEEEEEEEEED.

i don't think i would've liked twilight as much if i hadn't read the book.
- full review up soon, along with travel log from Phuket!
edward&bella.
damnit! why do they have to look so good together! and excuse me, bella wasn't supposed to be hotter than edward please!

and so the lion fell in love with the lamb.
what a stupid lamb.
what a sick, masochistic lion.
- i'm going to bed a little happy happy girl today. (:(:(:(:(:(:

doing a tag because i'm annoyed.

2008-12-09T04:07:00.000-08:00

i'm home. no, really.
as in, Malaysian home. Sorry I didn't tell you, Ernest & CK.
- if there was one thing I learned from my bus trip, TRAVEL LIGHT.
i wished I was a spider with 8 legs to carry the 92489214 items I was holding on to dangit.

Shopping at Forever 21 Wisma is scary. You have to go through like, metal detector thingies, and go through processes to prevent shoplifting, it's CRAZY. It makes you think twice before trying that dress on - for fear of having to step out of the changing room just to put on a belt, and for fear of being accused of attempting to shoplift. Fwah, such a turn off.

I'm annoyed at the econs project. AH!

Tagged by Vee, part A!

1. The person who tag you is? Vee!

2.Your relationship with him/her? other than as council mates, she's my close friend and running buddy! :D

3.Your 5 impression of him/her? COMMAND! heehee. film fanatic. sweet. fantastic at advising people (read: telling people things they need but don't want to hear) and is a truly great friend.

4.The most memorable thing he/she had done for u?

haha well, she's.. uh, called me in the morning to send me off (kind of. haha! and no, vee. i didn't take a ship home.)

5. The most memorable thing he/she said to you?

"THERE'S NO WAY YOU TWO CAN BE FRIENDS. LET IT GO." and she said it in the caps lock manner too O: Of course I hadn't wanted to believe that, but after digesting that - everything got easier.

6.If he/she becomes ur lover, things he/she has to improve on?

Hahah well, copying from Su Ping's blog, her gender.

7. If she/ he become ur enemy, you will?

Probably nothing. I talk big but I can hardly hurt even a fly. ):

9.What is it you want to tell her now?

i'm missing you and our runs very badly. ):

10.Your overall impression of him/her is?

amazingly efficient. I mean it in every sense of the word - the woman is so efficient at work, evident from her prompt minutes; efficient in delegation, telling people straight to the point what to do (not wasting words! energy efficient :D)

11. How do u think ppl ard u will feel ard you?

I don't really know; but i hope i don't scare people away. Oh yes, if people means kids, they are not my biggest fans.

12. The character you love of urself are?

I push myself a lot and try to give in my best for everything I do;

13.On the contrary, the character u hate yourself are?

.. (ctd' from above); and sometimes I get pushed over (okay fine, I get pushed over a lot) and lose focus on my job as a coordinator or even take on more than I can handle, resulting in feeling extremely suicidal. That's when you cue in the Jason Mraz; oh boy, would I ever need it.

14.The most ideal person u want to be is?

I want to be balanced. (Not on a weighing scale; though in that sense, I would like to be balanced too. :D) I want to be able to do well in work, and have a life. To be able to be a relationship and still have time to hang out with friends. To be able to juggle temptation and risk taking. (: Like I said, balanced.

15.For ppl that care n like u, say something to them:

... Hopefully I like and care for you too!

Nah, I'm joking lah. It's because of people like you, I can stand today without a dejected soul. (:You're pretty important, you know. :D

16.Pass this quiz to 10 ppl that u wish to know how they feel about u
dizie, sinyee, pnggg!, josh, liying - aiyoh i'm anti-social lah, right sendy? I've got no more friends to tag!

Part (B) RULE #1 People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs and replace any question that they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves.RULE #2 Tag 5 people to do this quiz and those who are tagged cannot refuse. These people must state who they were tagged by and cannot tag the person whom they were tagged by. Continue this game by sending it to other people.

1. Do you have secrets? like gee. NO! I'm AS OPEN AS A BOOK!.. uh, duh I have secrets. -.-

2. Would you fall in love with a boy/girl younger than you? Depends.

3. How long do you intend to wait for someone you really love?

Oh love is patient, love is kind. If I really love him/them/whatever, I'd wait for however long it takes. Though, it depends on how much I love him/them/whatever. :D

.. and why I'm waiting. Like hello, if he's married/they are gay/whatever is not interested THEN DON'T WAIT LAH!

4. What would you do with a billion dollars?

Splurge it on a trip to New York with my closest friends. We're talking first class all the way, baby! :D And then maybe use the remaining money to get a headstart on my career or ambition.

5. Will you fall in love with your best friend?

It would totally suck if I did. ): I mean, if you do, when you lose him, you'll lose your best friend too. Then who would you have to cry to about the break up?! It totally sucks right. I know. ):

6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone? Being loved.

7. Give one reason why you love your significant other if you have one, one day.

Wow hello skeptical question! If you have one, one day?! - okay fine. Because he loves me too. :D (i mean, if he's my significant other, he has to right! D:!)

8. If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do?

It depends on the level of likeness; if it's near obsession-like, i'd like totally spray paint his car and sacrifice a cow for him. (like, sacrifice the chance to eat a cow lah. I'm no killer yo.) if it's just like-not-creepy-obsessive-like, then I'd try to move on. =)

9. What is the first thing you want to do when you’re legal?

OMG. CLUB AND DRINK. no, i'm totally serious. one time people. I'll do it ONCE next year on my birthday; you older babies, vee and shin. YOU HAD BETTER BRING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY. don't need gifts. this will be enough. :D kay, maybe not club. BUT DRINK. - driving comes after As. :D

10. What would you do if your significant other if you have one day cheats on you?

"if your significant other if you have" walau enough with the skepticism okay! depends but i'm not easily appeased if wronged.

11. How would you see yourself in 10 years time? struggling in an apartment in the states, avoiding being bombed by terrorists while trying to get my career to take flight - and also, grumbling that i'm fat. OH CEST LA VIE.

12. Who is currently the most important people to you? (there's a grammatical error in this question.) but like vee said, those who love me enough to make time and effort for me. baohui, vee, david, sarah, sinyee are those on the top of my head. :D

13. How many times your heart has been broken? This year? Once. Bad enough if you ask me.

14. Would you rather be single and rich or married but poor? Single and rich durhsz! (:

15. Love at first sight. Lust perhaps. Love? Not unless it's animal attraction lah. Those are the fatal ones though.

16. If you’re attached but you feel as if you like someone else, what would you do?

Try and make the like go away and remind myself why I'm attached. If things were already flawed in the first place in the relationship, there's no point clinging on - perhaps the infatuation is a sign.

17. Would you forgive and forget no matter how horrible a thing the someone has done?

Depends on my reaction to it; if I was pissed, oh boy, the person would have to do a heck lot to appease me and make up for the mistake. if I was just disappointed, that trust has to be regained through time but it's doable.

18. What do you want to tell the someone you like?

assuming the person is myself. YOU ARE AWESOME. :D

19. If there is a choice between lover and friends, which will you choose?

huh. I'm confused. do you mean a choice between being lovers and being friends? Or a choice between hanging out with a lover or friends? In the former case, it depends. If I see a possibility at being blissful and that the other nagging pains that come with it would be worth it, then yes lover it is! In the latter case, it would probably be friends.

20. Do you believe that there’s “True Love”? Get back to me when I've found it okay? :D

Rendezvous 2008

2008-12-03T04:27:00.000-08:00

PRE-RENDEZVOUS baking with Staf. :D

Enough with the camwhoring! Time to get dirttaaay. ;D (if you know what i mean, you perv!)

So we add a little sugar, and spice and everything nice. :D

And they're ready to go into the oven that glows in the dark! :D
out came beauuuutiful cupcakes! :D
see, dave, this is what yours is SUPPOSED to look like. note: SUPPOSED to.

And of course, there were casualties. ):
though, the burnt edges were pretty tasty hahah!

32nd is <33!
There were more. Which explains why Aud's was outside the box. D:

and here she is for Rendezvous! :D you madeee ittt.

vee and i with our roses :D:D
bad business on that day siaaa.

blurry b and i. :D
it was definitely a night to remember that ended on a rousing note, with many of the J2s lingering around the lobby endlessly taking photos. :D
we had our fair share of fun and excitement too. :D

best dressed was angus. prom king was joey and queen was geraldine. Grats! :D
though zik was nominated for best dressed too. D:
sorry luh, senior. you got punked by the DJ heh.

and on the next day, it was back to work, baby! EComm WHOOOSH.
more photos on Facebook!

2 more days to SATs. hiatus.

fruitless nights.

2008-11-29T04:39:00.001-08:00

I'm missing the Haji Lane flea tomorrow to study for SATs :/ before meeting up with Staf and Jolene to bake! :3

Anyhow, 6th Dec is coming soon!
My exclamation is also for the idea that in 10 days, I'll be home. :D I can't waitttt.

Today I,
woke up early to do SAT prep before exco meeting,
had exco meeting with Ms. Nor about next year's plans,
finally got to catch up with vee for a bit,
studied in starbucks :D (without having to pay for anything!)
bought 2 pairs of jeansssss (of which, one is a skinny! FINALLY, HALLELUJAH)
lounged around town and met pearlyn, huiching, victor, hongjie, matthew and tierta (is that how his name is spelled!)
- this must be some kind of record!

feeling kind of happy with the knowledge that I've been doing silent good deeds for people around me, hoping that they will have brighter days. anddd, because I managed to meet up with my bestie of all time, sarah banana (thats not really her last name. inside joke.) a few days ago :D

no moping from me, so don't worry xq!
it's funny cause just a few months before this, i was miserable, thinking that days were dark as ebony nights. The end of October felt like a lifetime away now. :)

Monday will be an eventful dayyy :D
it marks
David's return from his mt. kinabalu tripp. :D
Grad Night comm's BIG DAY D: <
and, Chin Hui Yi's birthdayyy.

- appeasement was never my strongest suit. anarchy! ah, I can't wait for David to return so that someone will finally indulge in my futile attempts to rebel against everything and nothing. ): smileees are high up in the skies tonight so that you can see them from mountain tops, from where you are.

2008-11-26T06:42:00.000-08:00

good luck and stay safe, david.

- for both Bio O and the trip!

dayout.

2008-11-26T04:21:00.000-08:00

everyone needs a bestie. :D
"Why am I laughing!"

You can't measure a dream.

2008-11-25T17:55:00.000-08:00

2 things I am certain that James Morrison is good for:
1) accompaniment music while you study.
2) accompaniment music while you spend time reflecting on the bus, at home before hitting the sack, or just anywhere.

Best known for his debut song, 'You give me something', James Morrison's ballad had not only catapulted him into stardom, it gave him ground (or street cred, if you wish) in the genre of soft ballads casually paired with light drumbeats or piano keys.

To be completely honest, I didn't bother to listen to his first album. It wasn't because the first single wasn't impressive; it was partially because he wasn't distinguishable from the rest of the pack of ballad serenading singers. - at least the songs that he published as singles weren't.
I was very insistent that James Morrison is just another James Blunt - sappy and hard to listen to without falling asleep.

.. Until I saw this.

Okay, I agree, the bridge wasn't the best part of all - It was quite awkward, truthfully. But the song was honest and fresh - in terms of vocals and tunes! It wasn't the long stretching vocals and repetitive lyrics that make you roll your eyes over and over again found in general ballads. (I am so going to log up something about the lack of creativity in ballads one day.)

- So like I said, I didn't listen to his first album, so I can't compare effectively the first and the second. Though, what I will now do, is to share with you my top 3 reasons for giving this amazing second album of his, "Songs for You, Truths for Me", as many thumbs up as possible.

Top 3 Reasons.

3) It's easy to listen to, and does not border on being boring.

There are so many bands out there now, creating head banging music and rocking out loud on stages. (not to mention, throwing water bottles and picks at the audience while their at it.) So this album came to me as a refreshing change for myself, at least.

But to be very frank, it is exactly Starbucks chill-out music material. Tunes you would want playing in the background when you're either catching up with a friend, or just doing some good ol' reading. The guitar and light drums in the background complements the singer's sexy raspy voice in a melodious blend of ballads.

Tracks to hit up: Precious Love, Save Yourself.

2) It doesn't lend the credibility of A-list stars to make it look like a big production.

There is an amazing air of modesty in this album. Other than Nelly Furtado's haunting and hollow voice in Broken Strings, the entire album features Morrison's beautiful serenading voice. Broken Strings is an amazingly haunting track that is blunt and thought provoking; the duo teams up to deliver a song about love and loss (what's new, right) When I first heard the first line that song, I screamed in agony - "OH NO! Don't ruin the album NOW! ):"

It sang, "Let me hold you, for the last time; it's the last time to feel again."

So I hoped and hoped that the second line will redeem the corniness of the first.
.. and it did!

"But you broke me, so now I can't feel anything."

My heart breathed a thank you. I like this song for a one very specific reason; it is terribly honest (people, stop saying it's so SAD! so MELANCHOLIC! it's honest and realistic.) It speaks about the longing lovers feel after a painful break up, presenting it in a realistic map where lovers stand in a quandrary - between the broken hearted and the lingering feelings.
you can't play on broken strings.

I like that it doesn't make use of other stars' stardom to bring the album to a new height - that alone, brings it to a brand new height for me.

1) (Actually, I already gave this away in number 2, but what the heck) It is honest.

It is pretty much clarified in the title of the album itself, I guess - Songs for You, Truths for Me.

Tracks to hit up: Once when I was little, Please don't stop the rain, Love is Hard.

**Songs to AVOID: Nothing ever hurt like you.

Generally a very good album - worth your 45 mins 44 secs, especially on a bad day. It has my 4 out of 5.

fedoras are love.

2008-11-25T05:48:00.000-08:00

after this joke, he couldn't stop. - i kinda miss my chewrens from PW. ): how are you guys doing! Don't need me anymore, huh!

i'm glad your day was brighter because of my surprise, though my cover is so totally blown. :)

oh gosh this is cool - i'm dying to shop for scarves, skinnies (yes, i still don't have any yet), wedges (yes, i still haven't gotten one either), coats and JUST CLOTHES IN GENERAL D:
i need a wardrobe overhaulll.

fedoras are love.

You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost.

2008-11-23T09:11:00.000-08:00

i have a surprise for someone really soon. (:

got new sennheiser headphones today - creative has been failing me. ):
running tomorrow; sampan route again.

for the week to come:
meeting b and the econs group for meeting on monday;
meeting orientation people & daddy on tuesday;
sam & sarah on wednesday;
jolene on thursday;
e!Comm on friday <33; style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 51, 204);">exco on saturday.

- i hope i don't go broke.

- i don't feel like blogging anything proper tonight.

So where is the passion when you need it the most 
Oh, you and I
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost

You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
You've seen what you like
And how does it feel for one more time
You had a bad day

for those on their internships and having trouble continuing with the spirit they had.

thankful.

2008-11-22T07:28:00.000-08:00

i always thought of council as a family.
family members argue. we fight and bicker, but we make peace too.
today, i am thankful for having committee members throughout the council term.
i am thankful for having people to care for, learn to love, learn to apologize to, and learn to admire them for their persistence, courage and above all,

for proving me wrong.
it still amazes me till today. <33 e!comm.

though there are some relationships that should just stay professional. friendships don't work everywhere; even if one side is willing, it doesn't mean that the same side should compromise endlessly.

can't wait to meet up with David, can't wait for baking sessions with Staf, can't wait for shopping session with Audrey, can't wait for meeting up with Sam, can't wait for mugging with Jolene (:
did i miss out anyone?
oh yes. can't wait to go home.
can't wait to see my sister.

always getting over you.

2008-11-21T08:06:00.000-08:00

david koh, you totally made my day with that song. (:
thank you and take care, kiddo. (:

meeting up with xiuqing was a good idea today.
i'm beginning to let go; after talking to you and david, i've reached a kind of understanding of what approach i should take to this whole train wreck. (david, you'd understand this term better than anyone haha!)

we grow from mistakes, if we let it help us grow.

a note from me to you.

2008-11-19T07:52:00.000-08:00

Dear SAT and J1 notes, will you accept my apology for being such a negligent parent? Your brother, the laptop has been such an attention hog, it is not to be tolerated anymore. I will not give in to her endless demands; instead, my priorities lie with you.

Tsk, now go clean up. You're accumulating dust, sitting on the table.

for the silliest boy I know./ A man now, I see!

2008-11-17T08:00:00.000-08:00

for loh kwan seng,

the most ridiculous boy in the entire world.

- i really think you are, bro!

for all the times you emo-ed on Deviantart,

for all the absent moments over MSN,

for all the ridiculous conversations of which some I still save till today,

for the most magical chance for us to be friends, and even though not close friends today
- but at least we were.

happy birthday, sexy crays!;
i still remember celebrating with you last year at Tofu's place. ): sorry im missing it this year.
- i'm still waiting for you to make good on your promise eh! :D

--
Was watching One Tree Hill while waiting for my laundry to dry; i miss the gang.
i really do. ): sigh, its been a year since i've met Von or Liying, ALMOST a year since I've met anyone from the gang - half a year since I've met Wei Khai (WE ARE SO CELEBRATING YOUR BIRTHDAY BEFORE I LEAVE FOR SG AGAIN!) i'm sad i've kinda drifted apart but i still check Li May, Su Ping and Li Ying's blogs very frequently (almost religiously O:) Perhaps thats how I still feel that connection - that I sort of still am in your life, to a certain(ly small) extent. Though the past is glorious, it's the present we're dealing with - why does it always pale in comparison?

i'm tired from a day of Council work and SAT practice. 19 days left.
i feel fatigued but am strangely inspired to make someone's day brighter tomorrow; and i know just how. (:

a little out of my range of patience.

2008-11-17T05:40:00.000-08:00

honestly i hate having things being so uncoordinated.
- it kinda shows that i'm not doing my job, i suppose. =/ sigh. damnit.
i hate this part, right here.

wishes and greetings - tis the season

2008-11-16T08:32:00.000-08:00

nivia and png for Emit Asia.
xiuqing and navin for SPH.
chin huiyi for NUH.
esti for her law firm thingy.

GOOD LUCK TO Temasek Internship Program
PEOPLE! :D

felix and vibhu for Cambodia.

A FAREWELL TO Overseas Community Involvement
Program PEOPLE TOO!

smiles.

2008-11-16T08:22:00.000-08:00

thank you b and kamhei for spending the day costume, props and script hunting with me. till this hour, we toil.
i have no idea what i'd do without two hardworking and caring teammates like you. (:

hormonal.

2008-11-15T01:15:00.000-08:00

it's a love story, baby just say yes.
- aiya, shaddap sendy and vee, if I brood on my blog, it's my business.

mass danced with the councilors this morning; i'm aching all over now. ):
gloria jean's coffee is a good quiet place to do work at. (:
cheap coffee too! :D

probably spending the night scripting - not that i really mind anyway.
im in a totally-body-aching-but-still-out-and-about-because-i-don't-want-to-be-static mood.
there are a few things that I really don't get about people -

i don't understand why when i'm bothered by something and refuse to tell people about it, they urge me to talk about it because 'it makes things easier' - and when i tell them about it, they tell me not tot think about it. like, hello? what's the point of telling you that when I'm just gonna feel the same way. no, it doesn't make it easier.

i don't understand why some people don't support their parents financially when they become adults and have decent income. we see old people working in cafes and toilets, clearing tables and cleaning the loo, telling other old cleaners that they don't have a place to live because their kids kicked them out of the house. there was

i don't understand why Singapore seems to be the only country where the citizens are so tired that they sleep when they travel. - on the bus, on the MRTs and sometimes even in CABS. and yes, i sleep when i travel too.

i don't understand why China seems to think the internet is such an unhealthy thing - so much so that they have to have an anti addiction program to cure children who are becoming too addicted to the internet. cold turkey internet, anyone? leave the kids alone lah. when they get bored of it, internet will lose its appeal and become just a tool for communication that reminds you of work and deals. that day will come.

i don't understand why some people have to constantly compare their pasts and their presents. you're not the same persons. seriously.

angsty? maybe. I'm just confused.

2008-11-14T02:02:00.001-08:00

PMSing is not convenient. It's a convenient excuse for the retards who do not know how to count cycles.

white horses.

2008-11-14T00:54:00.000-08:00

White horses, Taylor Swift. No Vibhu, she's still not my type of music - i just happened to stumble upon this song on one of the Grey's Anatomy soundtracks. (:

Was late for my meeting, didn't go running, and ended up doing very little of the mugging that I had planned to do. ): today was a very bad day; my body's giving up on me.

good luck to all the cambodian OCIP peeps. Don't think about the landmines and y'all will be fine and dandy hahah.

-- tired. it's back to the books for me.

happyyy.

2008-11-13T05:09:00.000-08:00

happy THAT I GOT TO CHAT WITH AUDREY FOR 4 HOURS TODAY AND HAD OREO CHEESECAKE FROM SECRET RECIPE :D

happy THAT I GOT TO STUDY WITH VEE AT NLB :D:D

happy THAT THE CAMP PEOPLE ARE BACK! :D

even happier that I'm going running tomorrow, followed by Orientation video scripting and more mugging tomorrow. mah life is complete! - would be even happier if I could schedule in a time to talk and catch up with David though! But i'll settle for now. :D

and live the rest of our lives; not together.

2008-11-12T16:54:00.000-08:00

2 days of leadership training was enough to tire me out - I wonder how the people at SL Camp are doing. Heh, well, I took the lazy way out by skipping the camp. :D Anyhow, it was quite an experience seeing old friends like Samantha and Zong Yao, and making new ones like uh, Gorden and David. Hahah.

Attended KI talk yesterday, which thankfully lasted until 1.30pm, instead of the previously mentioned 5.30pm.
Spent the time listening selectively, drawing disfigured cats and cupcakes on Mich's note book. (:
Bused to Far East Plaza with Vibz and Mich; had instant noodles for lunch haha.
The whole of yesterday was pretty much spent to destress before I buck up for my SATs again.
26 days, baby! :D

--
just returned from a run in the rain. (: made me think of the time david ran in the rain too haha. It was fun; not as traumatizing as people claim it to be, at least. Evidently I evaded all lightning strokes and ended up in one piece, barely panting. I'd say that's a good score!

No running partner today, only a study partner - Vee, again. HAHA! We're the two poor souls who need to buck up on SATs instead of revising their J1 stuff/ go training for some overseas tourney/ go shopping for some overseas trip/ uh, go overseas for some shopping.

Damnit. Hee.

MEETING AUDREY TAY LATER FOR TEA :D:D I like days when I'm kept busy; what I like even more, are days which keep me so busy that I feel fatigued and accomplished at the end of the day :D That's gonna keep me smiling for some time!

---
I have a really intense dislike (note, I do not say hatred!) for emo-looking boys who are clad in all black attire, with their Billabong Caps and emo fringe, pretending to sulk in one corner. I mean, seriously. What message are they trying to send here?
Fine, so it's public property, you can whine and sulk all your one in your little space but what I really can't tolerate is when they turn offensive.
I can't stand the way they speak in the most improper English ever, not even attempting to sound like they are speaking English. I'm seriously not being elitist here - fine, you don't want to sound intellectual, then don't. It's not my problem, it's just yours. So don't go around giving people attitude about YOUR problem. It's just sad, and pathetic. I'm sorry. ):

GOSH.

running away; where to?

2008-11-08T19:18:00.000-08:00

It was a short but exceptionally good run today. (: New routes are exciting! I was supposed to go a continued path towards Sampan PI, but I got lazy haha.

So, instead, I ran the yellow route and stopped with Vee. After some attempt to convince her that a few more metres won't hurt her, we did the Sampan loop together! :D

approximately 2.0km and we took 9 minutes? That's pretty decent, I guess. YAY!

--
"What disrespect and disgrace am I showing you now? We're just talking. There's nothing disrespectful in talking!" The girl rebuked, slamming her palms onto the fragile coffee table that trembled under her might. She rolled her eyes in the direction of the neon green sign that made of Starbucks' famous mermaid icon.

"You had best be careful of the tone you're using here, girl. Don't make me lose my temper in the public." He hissed with a tone of authority. Tapping his fingers against the auburn coffee table again, I felt the man's impatience with his daughter. The disparity in age was hard to miss. His incessant tapping that dulated in rhythm according to this level of anger was actually what caught my attention in the very first place.

"Oh, so I can't even hold an opinion now? Are you going to give me crap about children being seen not heard?" She mimiced a zipping motion as her fingers brushed furiously against her lips. She taunted her father further by pretending to put a lock to the imaginary zipper and throwing the key aside once she was done with it; she was pushing her luck.

By now, ther exchange had elevated to a loud bicker - one which warranted glares and stares from the undecided customers that built a line in front of the cashier. Even the barista, who was previously bobbing his head to the snazzy jazz tunes that filled the air, looked up in curiosity when one argument had droned out the rest of the chatter in the cafe.

I grinned, half expecting a brawl to break out from this - daughter wrestles father in public cafe. Now that would be a headline to look out for. Though, my grin did not come from the evil intention of watching a fight unfold before my eyes. The father's face was a display of lividity and helplessness, which stood in bright contrast with the daughters' chagrined expression. Obviously, this little rebellion of hers did not upset her father the way she had expected it to.

As they walked out of the cafe to avoid attracting more attention, the cafe was buzzing again with much anticipation in no time. I sat and wondered, when life's too short to defy the people whom you owe the world to, just for fun. I wondered too, when was my last visit home not equally defiant when things hadn't gone my way. Conflicts of interests never presents themselves as an easily solvable situation, I suppose. Maturity helps, most definitely.

brainless updates.

2008-11-07T18:11:00.000-08:00

hsm3 is my feel-good album for the week. it helps me run too. (:

i've been on a hiatus from all things sports for a bit
- i can already feel my calves longing for a good stretch! (it's surprising sometimes)
i'm looking forward to running a new route with vee tomorrow. :D praying that the rain doesn't come!

time to file up things to facilitate revisions. oh how i hate mundane chores. ):
the holiday's been treating me well. I like free time on my hand, but it's bordering on boredom.
Plans for today: SAT vocab revision, econs hols assignment planning, ecomm agenda. (i need to talk to my ecommers soon!)

-hungry.

hahaha.

2008-11-05T01:51:00.000-08:00

rebellious nail! D: < PW is finally over but the elation didn't come thanks to some unexpected backlash from our behaviour. I missed my E!Comm meeting, and felt so tired out by the time I had time to crash, which was good - because I crashed. I've never felt this tired for a while now. If I didn't feel so sore all over, I'd actually think it's good.

Breaking dawn has been heart breakingly good and I mean it pretty literally. The plot has been pretty heartbreaking and don't you guys spoil it for me! Bio O's tomorrow. Good luck, koh. :D go knock the socks out of the anatomies! Haha. Thank you for taking your time to comfort me in my hysteria again. (:

I'm tired and I'm still in school, hours after everything ended. Oh - it's Qing's birthday in a few hours! YAY! :D

andddd.

OBAMA WON!

I still whirl around and have my biggest grin etched on my face, as if you'd be able to see it and feel my joy too. I still sing the lyrics as if you would be able to hear me. It's truthfully quite haunting. So I decided to throw out everything today- the past and the promises of the future. Now I know why Steph gives away toys from her exes. It's therapeutic.

(and no, people. I won't tell you what happened. Not even you, pooks.)

smileee?

2008-11-04T05:49:00.000-08:00

"Are you still at Cold Storage?"

I just reached the hostel. Figured I had better rehearse my lines again so that I'd have no regrets tomorrow for roaming about supermarkets the night before OP.

"Ah ok good you're home liao. Trust me if you were attacked by four guys, there would be no handsome vampire to rescue you; most you get is an old fat malay policeman.'

DAVIDD! D:< Way to crush my hopes uhhh! Haha, good luck for Bio O again, you ridiculousness!

Today was fun. Spent most of my waking moments with my dearest TJ131, rehearsing for our presentation tomorrow. The KI room caused us to perspire like tea bags in hot water. (not that teabags perspire or whatever.)
Tomorrow's plans!
- OP rehearsal (like, the most final rehearsal EVER)
- OP presentation
- Freedom.
- EComm meeting! :D
- Class Outing (?)

i really like smiling at your messages. you make me smileee, mr. davidkoh! (good luck with your strawberry situation though :/) I forgot to wake up early for a swim today damniittt. GAH!

his golden eyes.

2008-11-03T06:57:00.000-08:00

You're wounding my ego, Bella. I'm morphing into an Edward fan - a little late, I admit. But I'm turning into an Edward fan, NOT robert pattinson fan! Gosh.

been pretty lazy these few days, resisting much of the thought of having to start the studying engine again soon. heh.

read eclipse in 2 days; apparently my attempts to be s l o w at it was not very successful. (admittedly, I wasn't really trying heh.) But now, i AM attempting to be slower at reading breaking dawn, but not before we get all very prepped up for OP on Wednesday! :D

was supposed to go down to the west to visit Sarah, Uncle Daniel&April, and David (and tennisboy&strawberry!) - but I guess the discentives got in the way after David called to cancel, and Sarah, having to prepare for Physics and Math, was not so free to meet up afterall.

I want to meet up with Png! (: Study date with Vee for SAT! Shopping trip with Vee and Shin!
after OP, we shall. - looking forward to a swim/run tomorrow morning, followed by intensive OP training, and some math revision! (i am oh-so inspired by Jocelyn and PNG's lead on beginning to mug. D:)

smiles.

2008-11-01T19:28:00.000-07:00

i just returned from a run with vee again. (:
it feels good to have a partner to run with; and it feels better knowing that there is an afterburn to look forward to :D

li ying would say i'm such an oddball.

i found the video oddly inspiring! (: now that my day has been kick started with a good run, i'm off to town to do a little gift shopping and mugging for my SATs!

chair.

2008-10-31T02:06:00.000-07:00

CHAIR!
(chuck and blair; chair. get it?)

i'm bored, and i'm stuck at home wondering if i should wander the streets and window shop some more. I really wouldn't mind not having company - not at all. I just feel immensely lazy - with only 4 hours left before i would have to turn the other direction and go home, there really isn't much fun. Tried studying for SATs for a while, but that enthusiasm lasted for only so long.
Read Eclipse, but I have to be careful not to devour it too quickly, so I'm reading. very. slowly.

gosh, it's only the second day of holidays and I'm already out of my wits. School is really for fools like me, huh?

melly's funny stumble on an afternoon joy.

2008-10-30T23:41:00.000-07:00

Dear Li-Ying:

I don't really know how to tell you this, but our romance is over. I think I realized it when I threw up with Paris Hilton and I saw you hit on my Avocado plant. I'm sure you're scarred enough to eunderstand that I'm open. I'm returning your ring to you, but I'll keep your suicide note as a memory. You should also know that I never openly mocked a passionate interest for mice .

Good luck on your short-term leave from jail,
Melanie

-- liying, don't turn away now! LEMME EXPLAIN!

i'm sorry, this was too funny to not do. :D
I was randomly visiting sites on Sinyee's laptop and i came across this -

Dear (the last person who left a comment on your journal):

I don't really know how to tell you this, but ___1___. I think I realized it ___2___ ___3___ and I saw you ___4___ ___5___. I'm sure you're ___6___ enough to understand ___7___. I'm returning ___8___ to you, but I'll keep ___9___ as a memory. You should also know that I ___10___ ___11___ .

___12___,
-Your name-

1. What's the color of your shirt?
Blue - Our romance is over
Red - Our affair is over
White - I'll join the monastery
Black - I dislike you
Green - Our horoscope doesn't match
Grey - You're a pervert
Yellow - I'm selling myself
Pink - Your nostrils are insulting
Brown - The mafia wants you
No shirt - You're a loser
Other - I'm in love with your sister

2. Which is your birth month?
January - That night
February - Last year
March - When your dwarf bit me
April - When I tripped on sesame seeds
May - First of May
June - When you put cuffs on me
July - When I threw up
August - When I saw the shrunken head
September - When we skinny dipped
October - When I quoted Santa
November - When your dog ran amok
December - When I changed tennis shoes

3. Which food do you prefer?
Tacos - In your apartment
Pizza - In your camping car
Pasta - Outside of Chicago
Hamburgers - Under the bus
Salad - As you ate enchilada
Chicken - In your closet
Kabob - With Paris Hilton
Fish - In women's clothing
Sandwiches - At the Hare Krishna graduation
Lasagna - At the mental hospital
Hot dog - Under a state of trance
None of the above - With George Bush and his wife

4. What's the color of your socks?
Yellow - Hit on
Red - Insult
Black - Ignore
Blue - Knock out
Purple - Pour syrup on
White - Carve your initials into
Grey - Pull the clothes off
Brown - Put leeches on
Orange - Castrate
Pink - Pull the toupee off
Barefoot - Sit on
Other - Drive out

5. What's the color of your underwear?
Black - My best friend
White - My father
Grey - Bill Clinton
Brown - My fart balloon
Purple - My mustard soufflé
Red - Donald Duck
Blue - My avocado plant
Yellow - My penpal in Ghana
Orange - My Kid Rock-collection
Pink - Manchester United's goalkeeper
None - My John F. Kennedy-statue
Other - The crazy monk

6. What do you prefer to watch on TV?
Scrubs - Man
O.C. - Emotional
One Tree Hill - Open
Heroes - Frostbitten
Lost - High
House - Scarred
Simpsons - Cowardly
The news - Mongolic
Idol - Masochistic
Family Guy - Senile
Top Model - Middle-class
None of the above - Ashamed

7. Your mood right now?
Happy - How awful I've felt
Sad - How boring you are
Bored - That Santa doesn't exist
Angry - That your pimples are at the last stage
Depressed - That we're cousins
Excited - That there is no solution to this.
Nervous - The middle-east
Worried - That your Honda sucks
Apathetic - That I did a sex-change
Ashamed - That I'm allergic to your hamster
Cuddly - That I get turned on by garbage men
Overjoyous - That I'm open
Other - That Extreme Home Makeover sucks

8. What's the color of your walls in your bedroom?
White - Your ring
Yellow - Your love letters
Red - Your Darth Vader-poster
Black - Your tame stone
Blue - The couch cushions
Green - The pictures from LA
Orange - Your false teeth
Brown - Your contact book
Grey - Our matching snoopy-bibs
Purple - Your old lottery coupons
Pink - The cut toenails
Other - Your memories from the military service

9. The first letter of your first name?
A/B - Your photo
C/D - The oil stocks
E/F - Your neighbour Martin
G/H - My virginity
I/J - The results of your blood-sample
K/L - Your left ear
M/N - Your suicide note
O/P - My common sense
Q/R - Your mom
S/T - Your collection of butterflies
U/V - Your criminal record
W/X - David's tricot outfits
Y/Z - Your grades from college

10. The last letter in your last name?
A/B - Always will remember
C/D - Never will forget
E/F - Always wanted to break
G/H - Never openly mocked
I/J - Always have felt dirty before
K/L - Will tell the authorities about
M/N - Told in my confession today about
O/P - Was interviewed by the Times about
Q/R - Told my psychiatrist about
S/T - Get sick when I think of
U/V - Always will try to forget
W/X - Am better off without
Y/Z - Never liked

11. What do you prefer to drink?
Water- Our friendship
Beer - Senility
Soft drink - A new life as a clone
Soda - The incarnation as an eskimo
Milk - The apartment building
Wine - Cocaine abuse
Cider - A passionate interest for mice
Juice - Oprah Winfrey imitations
Mineral water - Embarrassing rash
Hot chocolate - Eggplant-fetishism
Whisky - To ruin the second world war
Other - To hate the Boston Celtics

12. To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?
Thailand - Warm regards
USA - Best regards
England - Good luck on your short-term leave from jail
Spain - Go and drown yourself
China - Disgusting regards
Germany - With ease
Japan - Go burn
Greece - Your everlasting enemy
Australia - Greetings to your frog Leonard
Egypt - Fuck off now
France - In pain
Other - Greetings to your freaky family

- please, have fun with it. :D AND TAG ON MY BOARD WHEN YOU DO IT! I want to have a good laugh reading it too :D!

superficial and HAPPY ABOUT IT. :D

2008-10-30T22:43:00.000-07:00

Png and I at Staf's house for GG marathon.

OMFGG - is not a swear word.

It stands for Original Music From Gossip Girl. Adorable, no?!
Apparently, according to Facebook GG quizzes, I'm Serena Van Der Woodsen. I would think that Steph would make a better Serena than I would. (: Better style haha! I've been arguing with Staf (who got Blair, by the way) that Chuck should be miiineee. Both Jolene and Staf showed such abhorrence towards him in the first place, it's WRONG that both of them became Blair!
(But then again, that fits right into Blair's profile.... WHY!)

I feel superficial and shallow now. Oops.
But I'm happy. Happily superficial, and shallow. :D Sometimes, it doesn't take something profound, like the discovery of the reason of our existence, to feel like the ferris wheel is turning up again, does it?

I'm feeling lazy, so this will be a photo-log of a sort. Besides, it's been pretty long since I've blogged up any recent photos! :D Yesterday was good - out with Vee, Sendy and Shin to watch HSM3. Believe or not, it's more bearable the second time. The songs were definitely not getting old, so that was good. Though, like Joel said, the plot was corny I almost died. But hey! I started realising that Gabriella has a pretty good sense of style. Dinner followed swiftly after a mini-seizure inducing episode of WenShin almost losing her handphone in the theatre.

Vee and I not very elaborately dressed for the occassion.

Iced HK Milktea is GOOD. Two thumbs and 'O's up! - eh, the noodle got soggy cause we were waiting for SOMEONE'S cheesebaked stuff to arrive!

(more photos from before)

first day holding the magnificent(ly expensive) Nike Human Race bag! :D
TJ131 - the most amazing PW group, like ever. :D
Snippets from Council Day - felix, wenshin, nivia, mel and sinyee all sweaty and tired after a long night of mass dancing. :D
JOLENE :D
Stafffff. - we were, uh, put through laborious work before this picture was taken.

I saw this trench coat in Forever 21 yesterday :D I thought it would look FAB on steph! What do you think, sis! It's not that pricey either, surprisingly! about 50? (for a trench coat, you've got to admit that's pretty cheap)

----

my day started with a good jog (good enough, i suppose) with Nivia to and from KLP. (: Showered, lazed around reading Eclipse - it felt good. The after-run burn, the cool breeze wrapping me in it's indolent carress - yes, it felt good. And it hasn't for the longest time.

Finally.

2008-10-27T19:59:00.000-07:00

I wonder, what ever happened to this? (and where on earth was nivia?)
I have an hour and a half to cram out IS topics.

Joshua and I texted this morning, after a very long break from talking. He apparently had a lost a friend, and I sympathize. I feel like I have too, like there is a void in the middle of it all - something that we've taken for granted for so long, and once it's drifting away, we begin to notice and our ears perk up in attention. Little do we know that, it is from then on, all is lost. You lost me at hello.

I'd determined to make the rest of my JC life count. I don't care if they are on your side, or mine. I'll salvage whatever friendships and ties i have left; the last time I checked, i still had friends to talk to. Friends who cared. (: I'm really sorry it comes down to this, or maybe it's just my emotional need to be wanted by at least my friends. I would wish we could talk, but I know that would be nothing more than a wish. - unless you're interested in proving me wrong, again.

goodnight!

2008-10-27T07:29:00.000-07:00

ohmyohmy jason mraz is adorable. (:
i'm going to celebrate the world.

I want to write the songs that will the make the world sing... in japanese. :D
ahaha! I want to smile like this every night.
I want to be surrounded by loves, friends and music.
- and i know how to get there.

goodnight you. too bad we no longer talk, or else i'd have so much to tell you.

chuck in real life.

2008-10-27T05:24:00.000-07:00

It wasn't a good swim today. 20 laps and even before I got my momentum going or feel the lactic acid burn in my thighs, rushing blood to my face, I had to leave ): dang it, so anti-climatic.
I was bothered - perhaps, still am. A sharp mind makes of a better tool, hands down. (i'm being all cryptic again, aren't I, Li ying hahah!)

Chuck: Say those three words, you wanted me to say.
Blair : Are you kidding me?
Chuck: Not quite. Eight letters, three syllables. Say it, and I'm yours.
Blair : But I'm already yours, and you're ruining this with all your talk.
Chuck: You can't say it. You wanted it from me, but you can't say it.
Blair : But I'm ready to settle.
Chuck: Maybe I'm not.
Blair : Chuck Bass... I... will never say those words to you.
Chuck: Then you will never have me.

i've chased you for long enough, it's time you start chasing me.
(fan girl alert!) CHUCK & BLAIR <3 style="font-style: italic;">

sometimes, people are broken so that they can be whole again. sometimes people take longer than expected, but they will be whole again.
they just have to want to be.

random updates.

2008-10-27T03:03:00.000-07:00

ah, i feel like working out today. laps in the pool, or around the school?

yesterday was MEL<3PNG day. spent the day at Staf's house taking a good, long break swooning over chaps from Gossip Girl and screaming about how it was unfair that they are all smart, good-looking AND rich. It's a potent combination, i swear. Anyhow, school holidays are approaching. (with much much anticipation on my side. I don't know how much of those lessons and lectures I can take without imploding because I can't understand what they are saying!)

off to pack for the pool. (: toodles!

Chuck Bass is Womaniser.

2008-10-25T20:36:00.000-07:00

It's really amazing how when Britney was down, all the lovers turned to haters. Or rather, the lovers hid in their shells, afraid to proclaim their support for the woman.

Now that she's making a come back, the internet is flooded by ridiculous comments like, "I've always LOVED YOU BRITNEY! GO BRIT! WOOTS"

I mean, seriously. Whats up with that.

- on a side note, chuck bass is hot. (yeah, again.)

TIP & climbing up the ladders.

2008-10-24T05:00:00.000-07:00

I'm alive, and i don't need witness to know that i survived.
i'm not looking for forgiveness.
yeah, i just need light.
I need light in the dark as I search for the resolution.

- Even if out of the slimmest possibility that I passed my interview today, i'm not going for an internship at SPH anymore. For the several reasons that kept my mom and I on the phone for the longest phone call we've had since last year, I've made this decision and it wasn't easy on me to admit that I'm not good enough for it. My ego took a beating, and so did my courage. But rising above that and all the no-offers for Mazarin and H3s, is all i'm looking forward to right now.

I need light in the dark, as I search for the resolution.

chronicles of a striving duck.

2008-10-23T05:42:00.000-07:00

it feels easier, step by step.
thank you david. thank you vee.

WR is done. (TJ131 you rock my socks yo.) Some people will find this repulsive and difficult to fathom, but I actually LIKE my PW group members. I won't say we spend every waking moment, raving about PW - but we don't infuriate each other to the point of fantasies of murder are born. The mad dash is almost done. In a few hours, we will be piecing in the second last piece of the puzzle, before Oral Presentation completes the picture.

JC life has bloated me. (like, literally so.) I've been sitting on my ass, typing away on computers, bordering on the point of negligence for all else that should matter. - with the biggest negligence being my health and fitness. This year hasn't been a medically spectacular year for me; i could fill you in on anecdotes of endless headaches and night spent editing reports, typing out action plans which inevitably leads to a terribly feverish mel. but then again, all these while, all i could wonder was why did I ever stop playing basketball?

I'm plagued. I've been more angry than ever, depressed, confused and befuddled more than ever. Back in Hwa Chong, basketball was remedy. I'm no runner- in fact, i detested the idea of running without a particular motive- which explains the appeal basketball has had over me over the years i spent in hwa chong. Zooming out on a larger perspective, sports as a whole, was probably the best thing that has ever happened to me. Last year, i conquered one of the greatest incapabilities that i had- swimming. Swimming didn't come naturally to me when I was a child. In fact, I was so incompetent in aquatics that my coach threatened to kill me if i didn't learn how to take breaths in between swims by the next lesson. (honest to god!) and of course, with me being me, that was deterrence enough. It was not until last year, had I decided to muster the courage to get back into the water to turn my feet to fins.

my first day back in the pool was mildy humuliating. I spent most of my time waddling in the baby's pool while my friends swam laps back and forth the olympic sized pool. But of course, after a while, watching and pretending to do laps in that miniscule pool seemed like a waste of my own time and, truthfully, embarrasing. I secretly contemplated the different degrees of humuliation- the embarrassing act of drowning, and needing the not-so-young-or-hot lifeguard to save me, OR the alternative of continuing to waddle in the safety of the baby pool, whilst jostling through the crowd of little kids during their Sunday swimming lessons? Really, both choices aren't exactly appealing.

but i embraced the big girls' pool, even if with much trepidation.

i begun swimming at the last lane of the pool, where the embankment is raised high for people to rest their feet on. that embankment, was my parachute, my safety catch. every time i felt breathless, like I couldn't go on, I'm swim towards the side and take a quick break before paddling back into the waters. I played it safe, and felt my stamina go up with each passing lap. before I knew it, i began swimming alone. Everyday after school, i looked forward to my laps in the pool and the solitude i get from swimming - even if it was between huffs and puffs at the end of each lap. did it ever get boring? sometimes, at the beginning. but because of one night, when it all changed, it never ever became a chore.

on that night, i decided to challenge myself and take a leap of faith. i was going to swim on the central lane, where there was no safety belt, or parachute - save for the never-watching lifeguard. armed with determination, my trusty goggles and a pinch of fear, I was diving into a realm i never considered possible 3 weeks ago. kicking off was easy; it was towards the middle, when my stamina began to fail me. My breaths between each stroke became elongated, and i could feel blood rushing to my ears. Intuition compelled me to swim towards the embankment but i refused. i kept going, telling myself, "a little bit more to go. it's sink or swim, child. surely, you won't want to be seen drowning in front of these senior citizens right!"

and my feet just kept paddling.

and it became easier. A grin was plastered across my face, in accomplishment after finishing 10 laps. little did i know, this was an addiction in the making. I continued on, blazing through the central lane - paced, rhythmic, regulated and poised. The best thing about swimming is the solitude that comes with it. there are no emo-songs to accompany you, nor is there a chatty friend who gossips in your ear; it was just you, and each stroke will only bring you nearer to your destination. thunderous clouds loomed ahead, and before you knew it, it began to pour.

the first raindrop came down on me as i came up for air after a stroke, serving as a warning bell for me to get out of the pool. though at this point, red hot blood and their companion, the adrenalin coursed through my veins- so i kept swimming. And because of this stubbornness in me, i got to experience one of the most amazing time of my life. Swimming in the rain was like flirting excessively with danger and poking a fire with a stick dipped in kerosene.

but at the same time, it was cleansing, like as though the difference between your tears, the pool water and the rain didn't matter anymore because they are all going to merge anyway. and every breath you take above water, is a chance you take with life. A chance to make a change, to walk away from this storm or to brave it through despite it's perilous potentials. but most importantly, i never felt more alive than that moment when rain fell to cleanse.

well, eventually, I had to get out of the pool because the lifeguard was being insistent that I get out. life isn't all good, but when the good moments come, we hang tightly and capture everything so that it stays with you to keep you strong. - and if they just won't work for you anymore, it's bloody well a sign for you to put yourself out there again, to feel and be alive, once more.

in search for the resolution.

2008-10-22T08:57:00.000-07:00

edited.
It is me and 700 words to cut for our Written Report tonight. The melancholia ensues, and I'm beginning to lose track of what it is causing it.

This part of me secretly suspects I desperately high maintenance, if only because I break down, and repair myself ever so frequently when a crisis hits me. As trivial as they all seem now, I always remembered them to be of magnified proportions when the doom first befalls us. It's an inevitable vicious cycle that we go through and it just never gets easier to deal with, even if the fundamental problem belying is recurring. And even if, you know it is recurring.

And perhaps that is the problem with a wheel or a circle; it's never just a happy note, or a sad note. It's always revolving; going up to a pinnacle of happiness before you begin falling back into that depressing stage - and when you hit rock bottom, you begin to pick yourself up (only because there really is no other way) and brace yourself for a good time ahead.

Oh my, I really do hate the part when it all comes crashing down.

And now, I am just biting onto my fingernails, wrapped in the emo-songs that blanket us so well. I know things will look up soon enough, so let us ride through the silence and the nights with solitude as our companions.

----
"Bones break.
Organs burst.
Flesh tears.

We can sew the flesh, repair the damage, ease the pain. But when life breaks down- when we break down- there's no science. No hard and fast rules. We just have to feel our way through. And to a surgeon there's nothing worse, and there's nothing better."

- Grey's Anatomy, Season 5 Episode 3.

know that the stars are holding you tonight.

you can say you don't love me too.

2008-10-21T06:01:00.000-07:00

Gone - Nsync

Tell me where will turn to, baby, who will I be?
Now that we are apart, am I still in your heart?

Silly boy band song has been getting me all melancholic today.
Don't really feel like typing in full, grammatical sentences, so it'll be a short update. ):

woke up late, had a madddd rush to the bus stop.
PW presentation was okay, i suppose. perhaps it's my expectations of the group that leads to the inevitable sigh at the end of each rehearsal.
and from now until the WR submission on Friday, I will endure sleepless nights ):
KI was confusing - that subject becomes more and more abstract every time i peel myself away for a short while.
after school, lounged a bit in the council room, watching Jason Mraz videos.
Had E!Comm meeting till 7, and ate with the councillors.
(hahah the colours indicate my mood for the happening! cool right :D)

i've been sitting here, can't get you off my mind.
i'm trying myself to be a man and be strong,
i've drove myself insane, wishing i could touch your face,
but the fact remains, you're gone.

musings and a birthday girl.

2008-10-20T04:50:00.000-07:00

Spoke to Vee and Shin about everything and anything, when we made our way back home from dinner today.

Slowly, I began to realise that it is the broken dreams, the shattered hopes, regardless of whether they were yours or somebody else's, that builds. Promos were hell; not only because I didn't excel to my best potential, but because people around me crumbled and this time, I could do nothing to help ease the pain.
"I'm sorry I don't have the words to heal. But you will be stronger after this;
this, I can promise you."

Only the things that really bring you down, and when no one is capable of doing anything to help take the pain away - that sense of solitary pain, and knowledge and acknowledgement of defeat is what you will remember the most. In the distant future, you probably won't even remember what happened, but you will definitely remember the way you felt. Let it mould you, and build your character; but first of all, you must let it in. - happy birthday b. (: i won't say belated; because you can never be too late to start with in the first place. (: this year really sucked huh? well, nobody can truly take your happiness away from you. So you choose: wear a smile on your face, and light up a million others or the alternative of letting things keep you down where you can never shine. (:

------
flu symptoms are gone. I think my system if detoxing; that would explain the lack of apetite.
(HAHAHA MAYBE I CAN LOSE SOME WEIGHT! GRINS!)
busy week ahead;
Independent study proposal,
Mr. Veera's Talk,
Temasek Internship Programme Talk,
Oral Presentation Rehearsals,
SAT Prep ):

i miss the gang.

Most people think that it’s holding on that makes one strong; sometimes it’s letting go.

let us make every moment count.

2008-10-19T07:24:00.000-07:00

i found myself in a strangely unfamiliar situation of contemplation;
this coming week, approaching in precisely 1 hour and 35 minutes, will be the last full week we spend as the carefree, let-the-world-hang-half-way-down-the-moon-and-all-we'd-say-is-HECK, and the busy J1s.

i know this phrase has been overused and over-recycled but - time is really, in fact, capable of flying. On a night of reminiscence accompanied by side effects of my medication, I contemplate what I am to feel at this point of my journey through my Junior College (JC) life. Exactly 6 and a half more days till the end of J1, (Half day was declared as a celebratory date for TJ for winning at School Excellence Award. :D hence, the half day.) and all I can think of, (amongst the common woes of Project Work, SATs, orientation committees, physics tutorial) is how it all went pass me without me noticing, and that in 6 months' time, the council room will not be ours to call home to.

let us make every moment count.

--
ahh, screw this template. the fonts are finally big enough for normal people to not squint to read.
but everytime i edit some parts the entire thing goes haywire. -.-
TO TAG, PRESS ON THE line "ALL THIS TIME" on your LEFT. (: